x75 CAT PEOPLE (2/6/98)

Directed by: Paul "dewclaw" Schrader
Written by: DeWitt "catnip" Bodeen and
Alan "sectorial premolar" Ormsby

You don't, really....trust us. For one thing, it comes completely without breasts. For another, it comes with Malcolm McDowell and some incest on the side. It's not sexy, it's not scary. It simply smells of fish.

cabcat.jpg Borij> Dog People doesn't have the same eeriness...
BillBear> What did John Hear? Speak UP!
dungarees> John Heard what Jane Says
BryanL> Skull in the sand, how'd it get there?
andre> insert Dune riff.
Ironf> Did they have leopard colonies?
BryanL> So, since this is Cat People, they'd be wearing lioncloths?
dungarees> Um...as god as my witness, I'll never be fancy feastless again!
BillBear> Will you still love me...after the devourin
dungarees> Nice slip, lady BryanL> Her name is Natassia Kinski of the clan McKinski. She is five hundred years old, and she can never die.
BillBear> The Lighthouse Fund? Are there grizzled sea captains begging in this airport?
dungarees> What was with the extreeeme close up of the royal blue butt?
BryanL> She hates airplanes 'cause she's got to ride in that little plastic carrier.
BillBear> I'm ethnic. Love me!
Ironf> Who do voodoo? She do voodoo, that's who.
Xanatos> yesterday's chicken=today's chicken is a biscuit
dungarees> that's right, xanatos, chicken is a biscuit and rhythm is a dancer
dungarees> I'd say that palming her head qualifies as a 'bad touch'
BryanL> The music implies we're in a Yes video, but the cinematography says "Dark Shadows".
BillBear> Malcolm needs a breathe-rite strip
andre> and we have Warhol wig sign.
Ironf> How much would one of those automatic cleaning cat pans cost sized up to Mike.
andre> and the world mourns the loss of a whore with a bad sense of humor.
Ironf> Imagine her getting killed by a pussy. Ironic.
BryanL> How the leopard got in my pajamas, I'll never know.
dungarees> I love the gripping 'argument about the weight of the cat' scene
BillBear> He prefers Fresh Step, dammit!
BryanL> Oh, I hate to shoot a cat butt like that.
THX-1138> Shot in the butt and you're to blame
BryanL> I'm already past my RDA of nipples, man.
Djenk> And if you look on your right, you will see a werebeast from hell..
BillBear> Ah...the days when zoos were prisons with popcorn.
BillBear> Kiss my black furry ass, Kinski!
THX-1138> Someone call in the Thundercats, please
cthulhu> Thunder Cats.... HOOOOOOOO
andre> Project X2: This Time IT's Personal
dungarees> Thanks for the crotch shot, Heidi
BillBear> So, Mr Cat, once again we see there is no hooker you can attack which I cannot take away.
THX-1138> I've got the right medication for you...two doses of loooove.
dungarees> I like the accesorizing with maxi pads...it's bold
BryanL1> Ah, an oyster bar. Aphrodisiacs in a movie where they cut out all the sex.
Ironf> You suck them down. You know how to suck don't you?
BryanL1> Put your lips together and write a movie called "Cat People".
* shred starts yodeling uncontrolably
BillBear> I'm gonna have to see an actual uterus before I'll believe Kinski is really a woman.
dungarees> The fans were on Casablanca speed...the scent of Nazis was in the air....
Djenk> lets see...pussy's...hose...nothing Freudian here
Ironf> shred, I was saving the Black Panther riff, now you just went and blown it.
andre> hey, listen to me! I'm a fully licensed noodly guy!
BryanL1> This is odd. I don't have the slightest idea what's going on, yet, since Begley is dead, I really don't care.
dungarees> She must be hoping that the horizontal stripes will make us believe she has breasts or something
BillBear> Oh, yeah? What about the rights of that little basement?
BillBear> So, they can identify prostitutes and female runaways by their bones?
Ironf> Carnies, a lot of scum and villiany.
BryanL1> Gee. Blame the voodoo priestess for the dead people. NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE!
dungarees> He's a lumberjack by day, cat by night
shred> let's hope they run into some fishpeople and have a fight to the death
andre> Tonight's Episode: Sufferin' SucoMURDER!
Djenk> bRAAK......polly want out of this crappy movie
BillBear> Who is this woman with pecs like beer coasters and knees of fringe?
cthulhu> The calls are coming from inside the cat.
cthulhu> It's Friday at Necropolisis Days.
Ironf> Did he steal her breath while she slept?
BillBear> The person you have tried to call...is devoured. Please check the number and t ry again.
dungarees> VC of the corn
BryanL1> If this were dark, and they all had flashlights, it'd be an X-Files episode.
dungarees> Now that we're on the subject, Pippi seems to have checked her breasts at the door as well
andre> so why is he dressed like a gay Gestapo agent?
andre> Throw me the idol! I'll throw you the extension cord!
shred> Chita Rivera in a role that will surprise you.
shred> A cat like that...he kill your brother...
dungarees> Dream Sequence or Douche commercial: you decide
BryanL1> They come from Planet Tang.
Ironf> It's Dune on a different plane of existance. Instead of sand, kitty-litter
dungarees> The fur balls....the spice...is there a connection?
Djenk> Victim Soup: Take One Victim, add one unattended pool, and kill vigorously
BryanL1> Remember the little death? Well it's time for it's big brother.
shred> she would've turned into a cat except he didn't quite hit the "spot," if you get my drift.
BillBear> "There's a large black panther on the 404, we recommend you take I-15 as an alternate."

"We could only make love with our own!"
"Pussy came by and stuck her head in..."
"Holy cow! He's going through the goldang window!"
"Looks like we have a gourmet leopard on our hands."
"There's only one way to keep them away.... you have to make love"

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