Kaiju, get yer Red Hot Kaiju here!
Toho decided to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the Godzilla Wrestling Federation with this: the heartwarming story of the Big G, King of the Swingin' Monsters; his completely useless best friend Anguirus; King Seesar, the Patron Saint of Cocker Spaniels; and one 50-meter-tall Evil Twin (tm). The movie's plot continues the story arc of previous films, pitting the AWO (The Alien World Order) against a rag-tag group of Friendly Monsters who see Earth and it's population as it's own private buffet.... uh, stomping grounds.
The sad part about this film is that it marked the second-to-last appearance of the old Godzilla. Only one more Event, the Terror of Mechagodzilla PPV, would be seen before the big guy and the rest of the Rubber Monster Squad went into a 8-year exile, slowly being re-introduced in the second Godzilla series that began with Godzilla 1985. However, the angles were completely reversed: In the new series, MechaGodzilla was created to save squishy Earthmen from the now-heelish Gojira. Another interesting bit of trivia is the other Title Battle that occurred during this PPV, mainly the fight over this film's original title, Godzilla Vs. The Bionic Monster. Seems the American producers of the Six Million Dollar Man laid claims to the universe-wide rights to the word "bionic", so the Japanese kindly changed the title to Godzilla Vs. The Cosmic Monster. Much later, when the movies were re-dubbed and re-edited in an attempt to make them a little less campy, the movie title was changed once again, to it's current incarnation.
This movie, by the way, joins Godzilla vs. Hedorah and a few other movies in the exclusive ReRiff Club, a very small group of movies that are considered so delightful that they've been HGed more than once. To see this game's previous incarnation, please click here.
Please Curb Your Pets
BryanL> This is already better than Devlin's vision.
Ironf> Welcome to Screaching Theater
MrBooze> Allanis Morisette is frightened
BryanL> Jeeps. Goofy hats. It's a Godzilla movie alright.
MrBooze> Watch out for the Master Cylinder!
Ironf> And thus the Goldyoto Rush was on.
BryanL> It's a Chuck E Cheese token. What could it mean?
BryanL> Lara Croft and That Girl's love child.
MrBooze> And the mystery of why my hat looks like a muffin still eludes me.
MrBooze> He laughs more than Doctor Hibbert.
Plumm> Papparazzi of the Oooooold East.
MrBooze> Wow, that's an unusually specific prophecy.
BryanL> When have the monsters -ever- appeared to save the people?
BryanL> They've got the first five volumes of every encyclopedia ever.
felix> ahh the miracle of the wander bra
MrBooze> No. It's from the space between the floorboards, OF COURSE ITS FROM OUTER SPACE!
Ironf> Well call a plumber to look at that toilet and that'll stop
dungarees> It's tuned to the light FM with nothing but Smooth Jazz
BryanL> Nothing like a moving epicenter.
* dungarees rejects viewmaster viewers which don't feature Chow Yun Fat in the Buff
BryanL> And thus, the dangers of fabric walls are revealed.
MrBooze> The sordid untold tale of Japan's thriving art thievery ring.
Plumm> Watch out for the leather-bound volumes of tentacle rape comics!
dungarees> A game of Hungry Hungry Hippos turns deadly
BryanL> Still, better fight choreography than the last two Batman movies put together.
THX-1138> The japanese need to devote more time on improving foley work and less time making virtual pets.
BryanL> It's the Cigalette Smoking Man!
MrBooze> And love is a battelfield!
BryanL> Hello, uncle, I must be going. The new album from Phil Collins.
THX-1138> Tekken characters.
MrBooze> Are you the keymaster?
dungarees> So why is Elijah getting involved in matters Japanese?
Plumm> This Bud's for you, Godzilla!
dungarees> Who is that pussy monster with the big keratinous zit on his nose?
MrBooze> Tha'ts Anguiras. Godzilla's good friend, and frequent recipient of ass-kickings.
Ironf> He calls everything Space Titanium.
THX-1138> It's a super crack pipe
MrBooze> Yeah, I make little homecrafted pipes that destroy electrical equipment all the time. Sell them at art fairs.
BryanL> Yeah. None of that fakey car exploding breath... real atomic breath!
dungarees> HOw many times do these stupid lizards need to be told about foil and microwaves?!?
THX-1138> It's like looking into a mirror, only not.
MrBooze> I think I'll mince some more in my foil suit.
Ironf> It means it's a double mint commercial gone horribly wrong
BryanL> It's Two! Two! Two Godzillas in one!
Ironf> This is where WCW stole the Sting and NWO Sting thing from.
BryanL> This ancient type of writing was called "dingbat fonts".
Plumm> Is that Serling doing a voiceover?
THX-1138> Sunrise...sunset. Sunrise...sunset.
MrBooze> And what was the point of the love boat scene?
dungarees> Blue eye Shadow should be illegal
THX-1138> No, you make my mouth water.
MrBooze> And where are your scientists now, Splotch man?
Plumm> It's a fabulous funny freakout!
Ironf> Just cause you have and wear an ascot doesn't make you smooth and cool
THX-1138> And godzilla walks off in the rain, sad, as the Hulk theme music plays in the background.
Ironf> Whew, I thought there might be two little women in there singing
THX-1138> You'll shoot your eye out!
Ironf> It turned into a TBS Monkey Movie
Ironf> And the judges give it a 7.4
MrBooze> Well, the stranger said we should talk about love...so...
dungarees> So the enemies of Godzilla live in the read menace district of Japan?
MrBooze> Deep in the heart of Kansas, the Mecha-Godzilla factories provide employment and dignity to the nations needy alien families.
THX-1138> Well, who's in for an orgy.
dungarees> You'll never make it at the improv, bitter wormy guy1
Ironf> Those monkey men like to laugh alot
Plumm> These Asian sex clubs get weirder and weirder.
MrBooze> Shut down all the microwaves on the detention level!!!
Ironf> To open it, you must fling your own filth at it.
dungarees> Jesus Christ, what was their red tissue paper budget on this flick?
THX-1138> Saki didn't say.
THX-1138> I sold my sould to the devil...And I threw away the receipt.
MrBooze> Bobo? NOOOOO!
THX-1138> Hi, Rex Dart. Nice to meet you.
MrBooze> Just basically assume everyone is with Interpol.
THX-1138> And here comes the giant devil dog!
MrBooze> Even the ancients liked to make things go boom.
Plumm> Bowser's back and he's pissed.
dungarees> the sun rises widdershins, fuckwit
MrBooze> Now, this is why Godzilla is king of the monsters. He doesn't need some lame song to rouse him. He needs nuclear blasts, bay-bee!
Ironf> Geeez that's a Leno sized chin
THX-1138> When did the Gizmo show up?
MrBooze> Boy, you just opened up a big can of mecha-whoop ass.
Ironf> "Mecha-Godzilla, beat Godzilla to death"
THX-1138> YOU! You've just been booked a first class ticket on Whoop-ass airlines!
dungarees> Voltron Force! Form senseless storm!
MrBooze> Now Godzilla's nails are nice and smooth.
THX-1138> Did I tell you I love you?
MrBooze> Mecha is just blowing his entire wad now.
Ironf> He used the number 3 polishing stick
* dungarees swears we HG'd this before
MrBooze> Is this the end of godzilla?<
Ironf> Ohhh a Wolverine healing factor
THX-1138EB> Godzilla has iron rich blood
MrBooze> Whoa! He just goosed mechagodzilla!
THX-1138EB> Mecha-G is nothing more than a giant love toy for Godzilla.
* dungarees switches Mecha-G to 'supervibe'
Ironf> See if this were wrestling, Mecha-Godzilla would have ducked at least one of those.
MrBooze> Nice foley of an old clipper ship there.
MrBooze> Uh oh! You broke it, you bought it, Godzilla!
Ironf> 'We are screwed.'
MrBooze> Right in the super soaker!
Ironf> They still look like lizard people with hair
MrBooze> Godzilla's having a slow reaction day.
dungarees> The booze dampens Godzilla's reflexes
THX-1138EB> You know what this is gonna do to the G-man's ego.
Ironf> Godzilla is like Namor, he has to go to the sea to regain all his powers
MrBooze> Just foley the same explosion sound over and over and over...