x208 HIDER IN THE HOUSE (2/16/99)

Written by Lem "not Bob" Dobbs
Directed by Matthew "not Butch" Patrick
Produced in part by Ed "not Mimi's" Teets

Gary Busey hasn't had the ability to carry a leading role in a movie for a while: witness Surviving the Game. But in Hider in the House, it was easy enough for him to play the role of a psychotic firebug with a more horrific childhood than Danny Bonaduce. When released from the mental hospital after the invention of PROZAC, Gary quickly falls back into his old ways, moving into the attic of Mimi Rogers and Michael McKean. At first, he does what any of us would: viz, peeping on Mimi skinny-dipping and drinking straight out of the family's milk carton. But for some reason he soon feels obligated to be the family's protector, both teaching the spindly boy-child how to knee bullies in the groin and killing exterminators who want to spray the family with DDT. But the facade falls apart when Gary's truly enormous cocaine stash is discovered in the pantry in a bag marked "King Arthur Flour." In the end, I'd rather watch Mimi Rogers in Full Body Massage, but that's just me.

mgrasso> "hitler in the house"?
mgrasso> i should put my glasses on.
Balthayzr> Hider in the House. The story of a Door-to-door taxidermist.
mgrasso> two x-files guest stars. not bad.
Balthayzr> The rejected pilot of All in the Family.
Ironf> Kid beating in the opener. That's quality.
mgrasso> huh. jackson pollack's crayon drawings
mgrasso> "gimme the fucking keys, you fucking cocksucker!"
Balthayzr> And that kid grew up into......Gary Busey. Now you know.....The Rest Of The Story.
Balthayzr> And Busey sees Invisible Elves on his arms.
Cthulhu> Playboy... Penthouse... National Review.
mgrasso> movies for guys who like choking.
Balthayzr> Busey meets with his Anger Councelor.
Ironf> The copper pipes block the voices
mgrasso> he's being psychoanalyzed by fisher stevens?
THX-1138> You sure you don't want to be a bum living on the streets of Beverly Hills?
Balthayzr> Not Tim Curry, but his Understudy's hairdresser!
THX-1138> Here we see the Busey in its natural environment
Balthayzr> And Busey strolls by The Money Pit set looking for work....
Ironf> BTW for those that didn't get to see it in the topic header a few weeks ago, Busey was arressted for putting the beat down on his wife.
Balthayzr> House 7: Revenge of the Busey!!
Ironf> Here we find the Busey making it's nest for the upcoming winter.
Balthayzr> "Goddammit! Where's the 35 pounds of coke I hid here?"
Plumm> So, did 1989 really need a Busey-flavored "Bad Ronald" remake?
THX-1138> gotta admit, when Busey us coked up, he puts a house together really fast.
Ironf> Too bad that's not Chase Masterosn
Balthayzr> Edward CokeSpoonHands.
THX-1138> Don't let Fowley in your house!
Ironf> This was right before she married Fox.
mgrasso> oh, mimi. you're built like a brick shithouse. and that's why we love you.
Plumm> Lenny in the House!!
THX-1138> Is that chirpping noise air passing through Busey's nose and over his then developing nose tumor?
Ironf> I think we can get the band back together
Balthayzr> This must be an X-files Screen test reel...
Ironf> Oddly enough, thier dog is a decommisioned Drug dog
Balthayzr> And Bowser looks for the door that leads off the set...
Cthulhu> Ewwww I smell a has-been actor in the attics.
Balthayzr> I think it's sad that Busey's family leaves him in a kennel when they leave town...
Cthulhu> So the point of this entire exercise is to.. what?
Balthayzr> So, we get to watch Busey be a Squatter for 2 hours?
Ironf> dead mouse or rabbit's foot? You make the call
Balthayzr> "Don't let this happen to you. Get a Has-Been Alarm System, and keep B-Movie actors out of your home."
Cthulhu> Gary Busey IS Torgo IN Rear Window.
Balthayzr> "Up on the rooftop, reindeer pause. Busey thinks he's Santa Claus..."
mgrasso> here's the plan... we ambush the germans HERE, in the breakfast nook
Mellie> i'll hide the father's body here...
THX-1138> Busey built a voodoo house!
Cthulhu> When miniature wargaming goes too far.
Plumm> Busey gonna pour coke into all the ashtray's in his Barbie Dream House and pretend like it's the Arkansas Governor's Mansion.
Ironf> Better not let the light reflect offa those choppers Gary.
Balthayzr> "When a Busey gets ready to mate, he displays his overbite to show his interest."
THX-1138> I hear Mimi comes equipped with two large floatation devices.
Balthayzr> "Now ya see, ya got a whole nest of Busey's in yer attic. Gonna take a while to flush 'em all out."
Mellie> what was this movie about again?
mgrasso> i think busey's an alien. maybe.
THX-1138> A guy living in an attic next to some people living under some stairs.
Balthayzr> So, this is Servo911: The movie? And that's supposed to be us climbing around in his attic?
Cthulhu> HEY! I found someone!
Mellie> wow! arty johnson!
Balthayzr> I had a Corey Haim in my attic. You gotta get those bastards right away, or they chew thru the phone cords.
THX-1138> But you'd be blessed to get a Sean Whalen stuck in your attic.
Ironf> Ahh hell, looks like I got a nest of Carradines up here.
THX-1138> Busey best not break into some Les Miserable-ish Hider in the House song.
Mellie> ah... and the slaughter begins
sistahQbrown> young yeller!
Balthayzr> Ewwww. Busey watches the naked lady, then goes after the dog...
Ironf> And Busey gets the munchies
mgrasso> denture sign
Cthulhu> let's see.... Kill the dog... raid the fridge.... browse through the Miss' panty drawer...
Balthayzr> And Busey indulges his kinky paper airplane fetish.
THX-1138> Cool, Busey got them to pipe weed right into his room.
Mellie> wow. potent, killer chemicals. i bet busey's in heaven right now
Ironf> Something tells me that Busey could easily breathe that just fine
Plumm> What busey should do is his dip his coca leaves in water and place them over his mouth so he can breath.
Ironf> Busey-fu
mgrasso> "judy? cancel my 3:30 swedish massage. i gotta work with busey."
Balthayzr> See, this is a pilot for a series. Busey goes from town to town, hiding in people's attics, and wackiness ensues.
mgrasso> "the caged busey resents his captivity, and turns against the zoologists seeking to study him"
Ironf> Wonder if he sneaks out and hurts that other kid. I mean that would be totally not what I would expect. AT ALL
Cthulhu> Ahhhh, children. Our future.
Balthayzr> Ah, nothing like interrupting the random cruelty of Busey with the random cruelty of kids.
Balthayzr> "if you're nice to me, you can come watch my mom swim nude!"
Balthayzr> Ah, the old "Be nice to the bully, and he'll be your pal" speech.
mgrasso> didn't work with bobby brady
Balthayzr> "it's a little known fact that Buseys will adopt a family, and protect their territory ferociously."
mgrasso> "it's not your job to be as confused as nigel, is it?"
Balthayzr> And Busey fetches the ball, and is rewarded with the wrong type of Coke.
Ironf> Will Busey make the save? You make the call
THX-1138> Evolver's gonna try and electrocute her.
THX-1138> Ewww, he's gonna pleasure himself in their sink, isn't he?
mgrasso> what a leech, this busey. he's like the college roommate who'd eat all your cap'n crunch.
Balthayzr> That's what I wanna see. Busey marking his territory.
* Ironf cracks up at the freako laugh
mgrasso> brick shithouse, ladies and gents. brick shithouse.
Balthayzr> Geez, it's an hour into this, and the plot point is Busey making a play for Lenny's wife???
mgrasso> i give busey a lot of credit, hiring the whore for lenny
Balthayzr> Tossing shoes into a corner of your living room was believed to keep Buseys at bay.
mgrasso> "i love my work." [/busey]
Cthulhu> Fine... I'll run for the presidency without you.
Balthayzr> Timmy attempts to make his own Human Torch doll.
Cthulhu> I was only practicing my pyromania, mom!
mgrasso> this kid should move on to breakfast cereal commercials.
mgrasso> oh, it's pete rose!
Mellie> men in little white shorts *always* spend a lot of time alone.
mgrasso> i've never seen a hairpiece come in "goldenrod" before.
THX-1138> Hi, I'm the substitute husband.
Balthayzr> So, was this supposed to be scary, somehow?
sistahQbrown> balth: there is nothing scarier than suburbia
mgrasso> i think the decor in the house was supposed to inspire fear.
mgrasso> you know, "the pier one imports set that wouldn't die" or something.
Mellie> "oops, dentures almost fell out there"
mgrasso> he looked like he was losing motor control.
mgrasso> good god. so, teenage morons, busey, and ispep. what a night.
Mellie> the secret lives of suburban housewives
Balthayzr> I've got all 300 tapes in that series, Mellie.
Mellie> i'm impressed, balth
Balthayzr> "Let this be a Warning to All. Busey's are a Friend to Children!"
mgrasso> busey is really neat! busey is made of turtle meat!
TLister> Busey is really neat! Busey has giant front teeth!
mgrasso> movie sign
mgrasso> sorry, big ass gardening sign
Balthayzr> That'll happen when dogs dig too deep.
THX-1138> Dog, it's what's for dinner
sistahQbrown> o/~ rudolph the brown-nosed dirt-dog... o/~
Balthayzr> "Busey, stop filling my kids head with yer coked-up NAM stories!"
mgrasso> NAM!
my-crow-soft> and now.. panty sniffing time !
mgrasso> crow called that one.
Plumm> Busey LIKE panties!
mgrasso> well, he hasn't showered this whole movie... you'd think he'd go for the lysol disinfectant.
Balthayzr> She looks like the daughter of that woman from Sinister Urge.
Plumm> Did you know the CIA runs a secret panty-sniffing ring amongst the power elite for blackmail purposes?
Plumm> It'sssss truuue!
Balthayzr> And it's Busey with the Sleeper!
mgrasso> go-go boot through the fishbowl... actually a common 80s music video trope.
Balthayzr> Busey's One Man Show of "Of Mice and Men."
mgrasso> ladies and gentlemen... the death of loonette the clown.
Mellie> Busey's "The Pieta"
TLister> Was he humping the window treatments again?
mgrasso> add another corpse to the collection.
Balthayzr> Trumpy! You can do Busey Things!
mgrasso> a verdant glade, a decomposing housewife....
mgrasso> a commercial sign.
mgrasso> "hi! i'm dead now! leave a message. don't smoke."
Cthulhu> Hi.... This is Rita... I was killed by Gary Busey and 'm molding in the backyard.
mgrasso> she's going to use the INTERNET to solve the CRIME, guys!
Cthulhu> I bet you she keeps the bullets in the sugar bowl.
mgrasso> hah! that kid's got a TRS-80. poor guy.
Balthayzr> Hunt the Busey-Wumpus.
THX-1138> TRaSh-80 Ru|3!
THX-1138> The Lucca Busey speech everyone.
TLister> Gary, if she locks up on you, punch her in the face. (5 points)
THX-1138> Judo chop!
Plumm> YOu forgot to kick him in the head
mgrasso> the classic mannix spaz chop.
Balthayzr> "In my country, it's considered an honor for a man to present a woman with the rotted remains of her best friend."
THX-1138> 0/~He's got the touch!
Balthayzr> Fish Police!
mgrasso> "there you are, wanda."
Balthayzr> Who could resist the attic-musty charms of a sober Busey?
TLister> All that coke made him psychic
mgrasso> busey delivers every line with convinction. including the non-verbal grunts
Balthayzr> "WHy wouldn't she go out with me? I put on my best Rat Poison perfume!"
Balthayzr> And Ispep drops by Chase's house, again.
Cthulhu> o/~ Don't come around here no more.. o/~
TLister> You keep on knockin' but you can't come in...
mgrasso> yeah, gary's zooming mimi's house!
Balthayzr> "Dad? I tasted the blood of my enemy for the first time today. Oh, and I got to pass out milk at lunch!"
TLister> Never feed a Gary that comes to your house or you will never get rid of him
* THX-1138 arms his Black Samson power staff.
mgrasso> you know, this is a lot like unwanted entry, except without the solid supporting presence of ray liotta
THX-1138> That noise you heard were his balls dropping to the floor and rolling behind the fridge
Mellie> why do i keep reading that as "hinder in the house?"
mgrasso> well, then.... violent denouement, anyone?
TLister> all that bumping and grinding woke up the kids
Cthulhu> Their kiddie sense is tingling.
Balthayzr> AH, the Busey's of the night. What music they make.
mgrasso> oh, mimi....
mgrasso> she was dressed like a q-tip, and still.... brick shithouse.
mgrasso> wow. he's re-enacting that melissa etheridge video
Balthayzr> See, this'll happen when you look in a mirror and say "Coke-head B-actor" 5 times.
TLister> She found the buseynest
Balthayzr> HBO Presents: Attic Confessions.
Plumm> HBO Real Jonah 13 1/2: Small Japanese Buseys.
Cthulhu> Mimi Rogers babbles her way into your heart.
THX-1138> He left to have sex with asses.
mgrasso> ouch! batch kick!
my-crow-soft> the kid must worship him now..
Balthayzr> Ooh, suddenly the news kicked in.
Cthulhu> If you don't watch the violense how can you be desensitized to it?
Plumm> Mr. Belford was busy watching his S&M videos.
TLister> Too bad Fernwood Tonight was taping and that other guy wasn't home
mgrasso> well, he's still a lovable anti-hero.... immolating everyone
mgrasso> slo-mo plop.
TLister> p-l-o-p
Cthulhu> And he grabs her.
Cthulhu> now.
THX-1138> His nose tumor keeps him alive!
Balthayzr> The Power of the Coke Spoon commands you!
mgrasso> hey, it's the two cops from the simpsons!
Mellie> mike, you're right! lenny and carl!
mgrasso> that's it, huh?
TLister> Wonder if they had a speedball wrangler on the set?
Mellie> "dealer to mr busey..."
Plumm> BUZEY in da HIZ-OUSE!
Balthayzr> The lesson here is to practice proper attic hygiene to keep it Busey free. A lesson we could all use.
Cthulhu> I learned to have my house checked for has-been actors regularly.
mgrasso> jeez, what DIDN'T i learn here tonight.
Cthulhu> I learned that high shool is a horrific, brutish, Lord-of-the-Flies sort of place.
my-crow-soft> is he dead ? is he in a coma ?
TLister> oh they saved the fancy text for the end
Balthayzr> Special Thanks to Nintendo. Watch for the Nintendo "Hider in the House" game!
TLister> I learned I was a murderer, BTW
mgrasso> i learned that there are people who *really* want to show us their web poges
mgrasso> i learned that you can like ass sex, OR you can like ass sex WITH asses
my-crow-soft> i learned that I can call panty sniffin miles away...
Cthulhu> I learned that if I don't find a girlfriend soon, I'm going to end up just like Tom.
Plumm> I learned that "Hider in the HOuse" isn't any better the third time.

"I decided I wanna live in a house..."
"Matches are dangerous things."
"You saved my ball."
"Bernard pounds my head every day."

We here at HG Industries spare no expense in bringing you the finest in movie-mocking humor. Sometimes, however, the humor comes to us, free of charge. Such was the lesson we learned the night of Hider in the House, when our channel was graced by the presence of Ispep... an old friend, and "slider-alt," master of the timer and sliding portal, as well as the patented age/sex/location check (tm). Please enjoy these logs*, the Internet equivalent of the liquid that oozes out of the garbage when you stomp on it.

(* edited for content. time compressed.)

*** Ispep (Cox@galileo.concentric.net) has joined #mst-homegame
Ispep> MURDERERS!!!!
Ironf> Ispep!!
*** Ispep (Cox@galileo.concentric.net) has left #mst-homegame
Plumm> ISPEP!
Ironf> Oh that was a good one
THX-1138> Oooookay.
mgrasso> murderers. better talk to busey, blood.
Balthayzr> So, Murderers. Lets toss that around the table for comments.
Ironf> btw 'murderers'
Ironf> Maybe cause we killed off servo911 and qrows contribution to solbase?
Balthayzr> I think he's under the impression we test HGOne perfume on animals.
mgrasso> i think ispep thinks we're all abortionist slacker heathens, who do nothing productive in our community. just my theory.
Ironf> that and the claw hammer help at the dog pound
mgrasso> of course.
THX-1138> Maybe he found out we were behind the whole JFK thing
*** Ispep (Cox@galileo.concentric.net) has joined #mst-homegame
*** Ispep (Cox@galileo.concentric.net) has left #mst-homegame
Plumm> Izzy, pal!
Ironf> WooHoo!
Balthayzr> Oh, there's a quote!
mgrasso> oooooooh yeah, ispep, call me your bitch again!
* Balthayzr is no one's bitch.....unless they pony up some Strawberry Cheesecake Ice Cream.
mgrasso> paul is annabelle's bitch.
Ironf> Aren't we all Grasso?
mgrasso> i think we know who wears the strrap-on in that relationship
*** Ispep (Cox@galileo.concentric.net) has joined #mst-homegame
Ironf> He who did we murder?
*** Ispep (Cox@galileo.concentric.net) has left #mst-homegame
Balthayzr> He spelled "Highly intelligent people" wrong.
THX-1138> We're condoms then?
Ironf> Stupid cum bags. That's not up to par, is it
mgrasso> i rank it just below "murderers"
Balthayzr> He's just not putting the effort into it he used to.
*** Ispep (Cox@galileo.concentric.net) has joined #mst-homegame
Ironf> Hey Ispep, who did we murder?
*** Ispep (Cox@galileo.concentric.net) has left #mst-homegame
*** Ispep (Cox@galileo.concentric.net) has joined #mst-homegame
Ironf> Hey Ispep, who did we murder?
*** Ispep (Cox@galileo.concentric.net) has left #mst-homegame
Balthayzr> And the zooming begins.

The following confusing refs are a result of Ispep's creation of a new channel, imaginatively titled "#msthomegamesux." His continuous topic changes are reflected here, consisting of truly creative insults toward your stalwart Homegamers. It begins with an invective directed at Ironf not to "lik his mom's butt."

TLister> Har har #msthomegamesux
TLister> Iron likes his mom's butt, or so I hear
THX-1138> No, no, no. It's "liks his mom's butt"
TLister> Ironf is a murderer you know
TLister> anyone want to join the homgamesux channel and find out what the murderer comment is on?
TLister> Ironf, what a whore
Cthulhu> But what would I know... I'm a bitch, a murderer, and a scum bag.
TLister> You're a cum bag, not scum
TLister> unless he misspelt scum, whit is entirely possible
mgrasso> cthulhu: you're ispep's bitch. be specific.

[#msthomegamesux topic changes to intimate that some of the Homegamers' culinary orientations point toward dirty socks.]

Balthayzr> Check it now. We eat dirty socks.
Balthayzr> I think Mr. Ispep wants to play.
Cthulhu> Mr. Softdrink... come out a plaaaaayyyy.

[#msthomegamesux topic changes to reflect a penchant on Ironf's part to engage in sexual intercourse with ostriches]

mgrasso> ostriches. ironf, you CAD!
TLister> HooHaa!
Balthayzr> I'm insulted. I demand all HGers get individual insults!!
mgrasso> his insults are almost... DADA
*** TLister changes topic to 'Now playing: Hider in the House. And actually Pengiuns are better lovers.'
*** Ispep (Cox@galileo.concentric.net) has joined #mst-homegame
*** Ispep (Cox@galileo.concentric.net) has left #mst-homegame
Mellie> where? ::looking around::
mgrasso> wow. ispep, bringing home the goodness.
TLister> That's a little better, but still not some of his best work
*** Balthayzr changes topic to 'Now playing: Hider in the House. And actually Pengiuns are better lovers. Jennifer Love Hewitt is da BOMB!'
*** Ispep (Cox@galileo.concentric.net) has joined #mst-homegame
TLister> Hey Ispep, who did we murder?
*** Ispep (Cox@galileo.concentric.net) has left #mst-homegame
* mgrasso chuckles wryly to himself
Balthayzr> Would she? With high heels?
Balthayzr> Heh. Ispep tries more humor.

[#msthomegamesux topic changes to provide an update on Homegame gastronomic habits. Apparently we actually prefer infant crania filled with seminal fluids.]

Balthayzr> ?me likes his baby heads sautted in Chicken gravy.
THX-1138> Babies with sperm?
mgrasso> ispep is a dadaist, i'm telling you.
THX-1138> I think he's mad-libbing his topics.
* Balthayzr likes his baby heads sautted in Chicken gravy.
TLister> It's a shame he doesn't spend more time on that web site of his instead of blowing his creative load on us, so to speak
mgrasso> ha
Balthayzr> That was sick. Thanks.
TLister> Wasn't it GK who said JLH was da BOMB
Cthulhu> I believe he did.
mgrasso> yes, GK is actually love-hewitts godfather
*** Balthayzr changes topic to 'Now playing: Hider in the House. And actually Pengiuns are better lovers. Chase swears out Restraining Order, goes into hiding. News at 11.'
*** Ispep (Cox@galileo.concentric.net) has joined #mst-homegame
TLister> Hey Ispep, who did we murder?
*** Ispep (Cox@galileo.concentric.net) has left #mst-homegame
mgrasso> scrotum. test. tasters.
Cthulhu> Errrrr..... yeah.
* Balthayzr studies for his scrotum test.
mgrasso> i give that one a 9.6
mgrasso> that was cool.
THX-1138> At least he worked in a scrotum
mgrasso> the idea of a scrotum taste-test.... quite DADA

[#msthomegame topic now reflects a belief that IronF is a murderer working for the CIA]

TLister> Ohhhh Ispep went politico
mgrasso> ironf, you are such a WHORE!
TLister> Now I gotta kill you
mgrasso> looks like a job for the CIA
TLister> and that Ironf whore does dirty work for clinton Plumm, or so i hear
*** TLister changes topic to 'Now Showing: Hider in the House. Only guv'mint man Ironf likes that much is Jesse'
mgrasso> ironf can't abide revenue. [/buffalo bill]
Balthayzr> So, is this the "YOU WILL ALL PAY" Ispep and qrow were ranting about?

[Finally, the crack #msthomegamesux humor team wishes us all to know that certain members of the HG "like to have ass sex with asses."]

*** Balthayzr changes topic to 'Now Showing: Hider in the House. Cox 5 wishes to be an ass.'
TLister> sweet sweet ass sex with actual asses
TLister> can you technically have ass sex with anything but on ass?
* Balthayzr checks his watch, impatiently waiting for the promised "Reign of Terror" to begin.
Balthayzr> 2 hours later, and the only "horror" we get is Busey being a littl e pushy about dates. Well, that and the killing...
mgrasso> is this classified as horror?
Balthayzr> As *A* horror, yes.
THX-1138> Oh the horror.
mgrasso> oh, we're all screwed. continued zooming by ispep will render us constipated and impotent.

With the departure of Ispep that evening, the #msthomegamesux braintrust too was depleted. We can only hope that the current "cease fire" called by Ispep expires, so we may again enjoy his Dadaist spirit, unleashed upon us all.

WebTV is technology for people. Clueless people. To wit, this juicy huckleberry of a log, which didn't really fit into our blossoming HG Ultra section because it's not really a psych-op. Still, it provides much opportunity for humor. Enjoy.

*** slider-alt (slider_alt@12-203.001.popsite.net) has joined #MST-HomeGame
slider-alt> ((O))
slider-alt> hi room
slider-alt> a/s/l check
Balthayzr> My a/s/l is broken.
slider-alt> JUST DO IT!!
slider-alt> A/S/L
slider-alt> LOL
slider-alt> doobie doobie doo
TLister> Ispep, 17 fem was in here looking for some cyber earlier, but she left
TLister> She might still be on the server though
TLister> so a /whois check
slider-alt> I don't want cyber, just give me your stats
slider-alt> lol
slider-alt> LOL
mgrasso> is he *really* laughing out loud, though?
slider-alt> my-crow-soft. hehe cool name
slider-alt> lol
slider-alt> like crow t robot and microsoft. cool
slider-alt> so what's the topic peeps?
TLister> 'peeps'
Balthayzr> The topic *is* peeps. Marshmallow chicks.
TLister> Those are only out around Eastertime
slider-alt> huh?
* mgrasso points and laughs
slider-alt> I'm lost, I don't feel like i fit in in here
mgrasso> *gasp* no!
THX-1138> Slider, try msthomegamesux
slider-alt> huh thx?
slider-alt> are you jiving on me?
mgrasso> solid.
TLister> word up muh nigga
slider-alt> doobie doobie doo
slider-alt> So should I stay and chat peeps or leave?
slider-alt> jennifer love hewitt is da bomb, you're right
slider-alt> LOL
slider-alt> If I leave, will anyone miss me?
slider-alt> you all can see me right? press 234
slider-alt> why isn't anyone responding to me?
slider-alt> HELLO? PEEPS?
THX-1138> Cause you speak a great deal of nothing.
slider-alt> PEOPLES? hehe
slider-alt> I do?
TLister> cause you wouldn't sex Ispep up
slider-alt> THX a/s/l?
Balthayzr> That spells THXASL.
THX-1138> No, I am not an adult/single/loser.
slider-alt> well, you look like it though
slider-alt> LOL
mgrasso> you got that LOL on a macro, there?
THX-1138> LOL? You love oily lobsters?
slider-alt> LOL
slider-alt> huh? what are you talking about? lol
Balthayzr> Yes. No.
TLister> maybe.
Balthayzr> Ask again later.
mgrasso> "you got a question... you talk to the 8-ball."
slider-alt> I JUST GOT ONE THING TO SAY....
Cthulhu> Plastics?
slider-alt> CAN'T WE ALL JUST.....GET ALONG?
slider-alt> you people are mean
slider-alt> I didn't do anything to you
slider-alt> Why ya'll dissing me?
TLister> Cause you didn't give the hand sign holmes
mgrasso> throw him some mad signz, lista
mgrasso> yo, wu tang's for the childrenz
* Balthayzr does elaborate HG Illuminati Hand Sign.
THX-1138> slider-alt> hi
THX-1138> slider-alt> I got a question
THX-1138> THX-1138> what?
THX-1138> slider-alt> first, are you male or female?
THX-1138> THX-1138> Why?
THX-1138> slider-alt> just wondering
THX-1138> THX-1138> Female
mgrasso> haw haw haw!
THX-1138> slider-alt> why ya'll treating me bad?
THX-1138> THX-1138> Because we're in the middle of a game.
THX-1138> THX-1138> You're not participating and we have no patience for that.
THX-1138> slider-alt> oh, well, why didn't you say so
THX-1138> THX-1138> Read the topic
THX-1138> slider-alt> I'm going anyway, I usually chat on talkcity, if you all don't like me, forget it then
THX-1138> slider-alt> I just wanted to be friends. :(
mgrasso> haw haw
slider-alt> HA HA HA THX, FUNNY
THX-1138> We have no secrets here.
TLister> Wooooooooo!
slider-alt> BRB
slider-alt> ((O))
*** slider-alt (slider_alt@12-203.001.popsite.net) has left #MST-HomeGame
* mgrasso laughs a long, cathartic laugh
TLister> I take it "((O))" is the 'portal' outta here?
Mellie> either that or a prisoner mooning us...
mgrasso> i thought it was the representation of the open sphincter.
*** slider-alt (slider_alt@12-203.001.popsite.net) has joined #MST-HomeGame
slider-alt> ((O))
slider-alt> I'm back
slider-alt> I was gonna let you all see my homepage, but you all hate me. LOL
THX-1138> I'm heartbroken
TLister> Yeah, our loss.
Balthayzr> Oh, I'm so hurt! The chance to see another lousy HomePage, gone forever!
slider-alt> OH NO,
slider-alt> IT'S NOT LOUSY
slider-alt> lol
mgrasso> you really find it funny, huh?
slider-alt> alot of people like my page
slider-alt> seriously
slider-alt> You sure you don't wanna see my homepage?
slider-alt> If you guys stop dissing me, I'll show you
THX-1138> Only if it has photos of Jennifer Love Hewitt
TLister> only if it's as incomplete as Ispeps
mgrasso> i want nude cow-fucking pics.
Cthulhu> No, and we don't want to hear about your AD&D character either.
Balthayzr> Nor your Anime Collection.
Mellie> i want pigs committing frottage
mgrasso> i want hot, steamy felching pics, you got those?
slider-alt> huh?
slider-alt> My page is on movies and tv shows and it's cool
slider-alt> you guys could be talking to a real artistic person and wouldn't know it because you are so busy dissing people
slider-alt> I'm just saying, why you gotta be all mean to people because they come in your chat room. You don't own it
Balthayzr> Actually, I own this whole server. Ironf's dad bought it for me.
slider-alt> Come on now, lets just get along
slider-alt> I don't wanna fight about stuff
Cthulhu> No means no Gary. (a movie riff, of course)
slider-alt> My name isn't gary
slider-alt> huh?
slider-alt> lol
slider-alt> Okay, One last time....Can we just get along?
slider-alt> huh?
slider-alt> I wanna play, what's the topic now?
TLister> What kind of glue are you currently sniffing slider?
slider-alt> I'm sniffing elmers, why? lol
mgrasso> you really crack yourself up, huh?
slider-alt> yeppers
slider-alt> you people are cool by the way, I didn't get it at first, sorry

Here is where "slider-alt" tries to "fit in." You be the judge.

slider-alt> "crow, crow, crow your boat, gently down the stream" hehe
slider-alt> "chase masterson, it's everywhere you want to be" lol
slider-alt> "fix me a turkey pot pie!" "no dad, what about you? No, dad, what about you?" lol
slider-alt> "Never let a nail be your lawyer, he'll screw ya everytime."
slider-alt> "everything king midas touched turned to gold, well, one day he was watching the spice channel and found out that his dick was gold" lol
slider-alt> "can i have some ketchup with my revenge, please?"

When these were met with a little less than enthusiasm, slider-alt went to the regulars for help. The horrible truth was then revealed.

THX-1138> slider-alt> okay, jokes on anything?
THX-1138> THX-1138> As long as it is part of the movie
THX-1138> slider-alt> ok, but what's the movie again?
THX-1138> THX-1138> Read the topic
THX-1138> slider-alt> it disappeared off my screen, i'm on webtv. lol
THX-1138> THX-1138> That's a shame
THX-1138> slider-alt> by the way, I'm sorry about earlier, you are cool.
Cthulhu> That explains a lot slider-alt.
slider-alt> what cthulhu?
slider-alt> what does?
slider-alt> by the way, I"m sorry for talking about you all earlier
slider-alt> you guys are cool

We are indeed, young man. We are indeed.

After all this, mgrasso is speechless.