x23 HALLOWEEN II (10/25/97)

Director: Rick Rosenthal
Writers/Producers: John Carpenter, Debra Hill

Donald Pleasance in perhaps his finest role since "Prosser" in "Warrior of the Lost World" leads an all-star cast against the trauma of a guy running around in a Shatner mask and somehow manages to shoot him SIX TIMES! SIX TIMES! Many people die whilst accompanied by the single-note tedium of John Carpenters MiniMoog dabbling. Jamie Lee Curtis stays in bed for the bulk of this film, clearly unhappy at the prospect of being in a sequel or doing any walking around. And of course, Donald Pleasance shoots "The Shape" a record-setting SIX TIMES! SIX TIMES! If you like this kind of movie, you'll like this kind of movie. I don't.

Q> uh - in what dialect of english does, "go call the police" translate into "run screaming like a couple of idiots down the street"?
Balthasar> "Damn slashers! Stay off my lawn!!"
andre27> You know, several thousand refugees gave their lives for that credit sequence.
Jamie> Marcel Marceau IS Jason Voorhees
BillPlum> Yes, officer, this crazed undead psycho slasher broke into my kitchen and made a ham sammich.
andre27> Halloween theme: Ultra Velocity Dance Remix
dungarees> I just NEVER get tired of the back of Michael Myers' head
Balthasar> Every time I see Jamie Lee I'm reminded of a very special scene in "Trading Places"...
Merlynn> He's coughing up blood and she asks if he's ok!?!
Djenk> Oh well, we immolated a man who may or may not have been the killer, lets go!
BryanL> Wow, a fat bald incompetent security guard. What were the odds.
dungarees> Michael Myers IS Andy Warhol
Q> would *you* trust a guy that looked like peter macnichol to unload your gurney? i'd say no
shred> good to see she's finally getting that hermaphrodite-fixing procedure done.
andre27> Well, we can always hollow her out and make a pinata out of her, so it's not a total loss.
Balthasar> Budget cuts have eliminated brakes in all Illinois squad cars...
BillPlum> Hey, that razor blade in the candy thing really *DOES* happen!!!
andre27> Help me! A weird disembodied voice is coming from the radio!
dungarees> Jamie Lee Curtis: convincing neither as a man or a woman. Discuss.
BryanL> So, basically, this entire movie has been showing us the consequences of the last movie's violence?
BillPlum> Look, I'm a scientist. Don't make me declare marshal law!
Balthasar> Louder! The media didn't hear you!
andre27> Must... get... maximum... mileage... from... theme....
Q> thank you for the music, rubber band and ticking clock
shred> meanwhile, you know John Carpenter is standing in that nursery, chain-smoking...
BillPlum> Ah, yes, the traditional halloween pineapple
BryanL> Walk a little slower, rentacop, and let's film EVERY SECOND OF IT.
BillPlum> Any second now, we're going to cut to the interior of his chest wall to show a cartoon figure of his heart puffing and wheezing.
andre27> Man, I'm so scared and stuff. I just want to get back to sitting down and looking and porn and eating pork and...
Balthasar> Do ya think the cameraman wandered off with the wrong actor in this scene?
dungarees> how much did she get paid for laying in the bed, do you suppose?
THX-1138> He kinda has that wormy DeNiro look going.
Q> you know, i just don't feel right buying a hot tub unless it comes with a mandatory "scalding human flesh" setting
andre27> Send Donald out to calm the crowd down! He has a soothing, Jesus-like ability to do such things
BryanL> You know, if just being oily and naked in a hospital bed WORKS as a come on, I'm gonna snap.
Djenk> Ah, nothing more romantic than the metal tub old man Mcguilicutty gets his sponge baths in..
THX-1138> Joe Bob promised hallways with oblique angles. I am not seeing too much obliqueness dammit!
BillPlum> So...when does this test pattern end and Halloween II get started?
andre27> For a while, this guy was considered "The Thinking Man's Kirk Cameron"
BryanL> Ah, the classic "she's running, he's walking, he catches her" scene.
Balthasar> The old standby-lock yourself in a room with no way out and hope he's deaf....
Plummer> She isn't the cleverest or least-drugged heroine, is she?
BillPlum> Oooh, I need to email Danni and tell her that "Danni's Hard Drive" was mentioned on TV...er, um...I mean...there's porn on the internet?
THX-1138> 9 out of 10 people being stalked by a killer agree that it is best to yell loud when people are around and whimper when they're not.
Plummer> I know what you're thinking. Did Donald Pleasance shoot Micheal Myers 11 times or 12?
Q> you know a villain is a real badass when he walks through a plate glass door
BillPlum> This is just like that Dr Who episode where the robots go insane...
Plummer> This is like that Trapper John episode where the robots go insane.
dungarees> It's like that Buffy episode where xander is incompetent and gets his butt kicked
andre27> or that episode of Diff'rent Strokes where Sam and Arnold avoid being molested by the creepy guy
Balthasar> What, did the gun grow extra bullets?
Q> i just have a really bad headache right now - stupid air!! i hate the air! die, you stupid stinking air!!
Rubicant> She just came out of a hospital, and they're loading her into an ambulance?
BryanL> She's learning too late that Mike Myers is a feeling creature.
Balthasar> So, what did we learn?
dungarees> I learned that Michael Myers runs with syringes and does not play well with others
andre27> I learned that Donald Pleasance once shot a man SIX TIMES! SIX TIMES!
Plummer> I learned that therapuetic hospital tubs double as HUMAN FLESH COOKERS! FROM RONCO!
BryanL> I learned that coming in late to Halloween 2 was a really good idea.
Balthasar> I learned that slashers, for some reason, cannot run. And neither can their victims.
THX-1138> I learned that it's very bad to have a brother who's a psychopathic killer.
Q> oh come on, donald - grunt at her incoherently a few more times

"You don't know what death is!"
"But no mushrooms... I hate mushrooms..."
"I understand we're going to stay on the air now...."
"The druid... priests... held... fire... rituals..."