x104 NIGHTHAWKS (4/04/98)


Directed by Bruce "Hard to Kill" Malmuth

Written by David "The Warriors" Shaber


This particular game took place after the Dorn Incident. Look it up somewhere. Anyway, you've got your Sly Stallone, your Rutger Hauer, your Billy Dee "Colt 45" Williams. Stallone sports a Serpico beard while working with attorney Harvey Dent to hunt down Rutger, who's an international terrorist bent on causing some destruction in New Yawk City. I really wasn't paying that much attention to see why the guy wanted to blow the join up, sorry. Rutger has a little German hiker beard, while Billy "Double Oh-Soul" Dee has nothing except a 'stash. Everyone plays around a bit till Serpirocky has to rescue some folks that got traped on a cable car that spans a river or something. He saves them, but I don't remember if Rutger is killed or not. I'll bet he was, cause bad guy terrorists usually are, but hey, who knows.


dungarees> There's nothing better than funkadelic credits.
KevinL> Martin Poll is off by 3 to 5 percent.
BillBear> I'm hoping there are letters going right now to Sci-Fi management claiming that someone kicked Michael Dorn from a chat room.
Ironf> I hear that Michael Dorn had a part in this movie, but they gave him the shaft and hired Billy Dee Williams
cthulhu> Attorney General... come out and Plaaaaayyyyyyyyy.
bowlegged> Michael Gross IS Stallone!
KevinL> Stallone got a scruffy Al Pacino sort of beard, while Rutger Hauer's going for a more Benton Quest style European mountain climber beard.
bowlegged> TBS: bringing you more fire escapes than all other basic cable stations COMBINED!
Ironf> I figured Billy Dee would be using a handgun. Maybe a .45.
dungarees> Holy Jumpins...those are some impressive Walgreen's off-the-rack specs Sly's got there
bowlegged> I want to know how to get my hair fuller.
BryanL> A Limey at a fruit stand... how ironic.
KevinL> Previously, on Hunter.
BryanL> This movie gives you the very strong sense of taking place in about 40 different countries.
cthulhu> It's your rejection notice Sly, no one wants to publish your cook book.
Zwecky> No one wanted to tell Sly he really doesn't look like Dustin Hoffman...
BryanL> So, this movie was pretty much the entire career Billy Dee was able to parlay after Empire, right?
Ironf> This and colt .45 commercials
nicklby> scarf=expertise in weaponry
BryanL> All right! All the middle aged white people getting into disco around 1983!
cthulhu> Rutgar Hauer IS Jack Ryan IN Saturday Night Fever
THX-1138> Now George Kennedy, there's someone who knows his way around a plane.
Ironf> Sly is The Boston Strangler
KevinL1> How do you mean, killed?
Ironf> rubbed out
Ironf> disappeared
Ironf> gone
cthulhu> 86ed... roscoed, pusing up daisies.
BillBear> The Big Bagel!
bowlegged> whacked.
cthulhu> Iced
bowlegged> bromined.
bowlegged> saltlicked. cthulhu> Scragged
bowlegged> grumpled.
cthulhu> Spaced
bowlegged> moccaed.
cthulhu> Creamed, and folded.
cthulhu> Purried.
bowlegged> this role has GK stamped all over it.
Ironf> ahhh the famous femmy rope handbands that all fey males wore in the 70's
dungarees> Hello, Mr. Foley artist? None of those cars hit anything? Whyfore the crash noise?
cthulhu> Into the Malt-moblie. SuperCalrissian AWAY!
Ironf> Steel Mill, so they must all be gay then.
dungarees> Good thing Rutger wore his action dockers
Guest> maybe they should shoot at people, not space
cthulhu> Shoot! Cower! Shoot! Cower!
dungarees> Someone get the pianist some Prozac
THX-1138> And the ghost of Patrick Swayze stops him.
bowlegged> nice prince valiant hair, Rutger
cthulhu> Then Rutgar turns into a giant mutant cockroach.
bowlegged> suddenly, a Nighthawks/The Warriors crossover breaks out.
Ironf> Stop or I'll shoot my mom!
THX-1138> See, most people would have gotten onto the train, but not Sly. No, he's one of these thinking man's cops.
bowlegged> I just checked what TopServo was msging me with. Prepare to be transported to a whimsical world.
bowlegged> <TopServo> GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGggggggggggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (need to feed my dog)
bowlegged> <TopServo> eeeeeeee--aaaaaaaaahhhhhh (need to feed my donkey)
bowlegged> <TopServo> tweedle-eet (bird needs a feedin')
bowlegged> <TopServo> roar. (lion)
bowlegged> <TopServo> cheep (cricket)
bowlegged> <TopServo> hiss hiss rattle (snake)
*** TopServo was kicked by bowlegged (haw haw haw (bowleg noise))
Jamie> Billy Dee has switched their regular coffee with Colt 45. Let's watch.
bowlegged> Ah, the euro terrorist. what a refreshingly original concept.
Jamie> Dennis Hopper IS Andy Warhol IN Fey Terrorist 2: The Quickening.
THX-1138> "I'm soo mad I constantly burn my penis with red hot cigar butts!"
cthulhu> The international terrorist community has been reduced to peeping.
BillBear> So, this whole movie was just Stallone's excuse to put on a few wigs?
cthulhu> I learned about the many alternative lifestyles of Sly Stallone.
Ironf> I learned that Star Trek Fanboys are easily sucked in.
bowlegged> I learned that Rutger Hauer is a fine actor, who I still respect even though he was tricked by Stallone in a wig.
BillBear> I learned that I wasn't paying attention to any of the movie.
Ironf> I learned that there is no need to edit merlynn out of this log.
BillBear> I learned that Foghat was in this movie and I missed it.
cthulhu> I learned terrorists love to hang out in discos and sleep with lose women.
THX-1138> I learned that the amount of loads that visit the home game increase proportionally with respect to the amount of time we stay on line.
bowlegged> I learned that Ispep didn't have a clever statement prepared.


"I really am a remarkable fellow."
"Understand this, suckah!"
"Understand this SUCKA!"
"The most important rule is . . . . . . . . . . . . . hesitation kills."
"I don't know anything."
"We have to throw it out, it's not needed."
"You wanna go check him out?"
"I like your hat."

Ironf thinks that Sly might actually not be the bottom of the Stallone genetic barrel