x131 OVER THE TOP (6/4/98)

SHAKE YOUR GROOVE THANG
Directed by Menahem "Captain America" Golan
Written by Gary " Tim's Not My Daddy" Conway

MOVIE
This is vintage Sly. Sly is a cross country hauler that finds out his wife is dying from a termal case of cameo-itis. Sly wants to raise his son in the life of a trucker, but his wife's dad, Robert "I'm not GK" Loggia wants to raise the kid to be an heir to his evil empire. Well we aren't told it's an evil empire, but he basically steals the kid from Sly in the movie, so it's implied. Sly teaches the kid to drive, he kills three senior citizens, on the way to the Arm Wrestling World Championship! He has to beat the best of the best while sonny boy does wild antics to escape Loggia's goons. The grand prise is a brand new big rig that will be his very own. With it he can start his own comp and run his life the way he wants. Straight into the ground.

HONK HONK
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Plumm> LUG 187 was Stallone's first movie and his new sound system.
mgrasso> ok, so sly is an oily drifter... quite a stretch
Ironf> 'Over the Top' I guess he isn't a bottom stallone
THX-1138> Chris Elliot's school for fancy lads.
mgrasso> fred savage: joint chief of staff
Plumm> Stallone's one of those hopeless romantics who carries wedding photos of his ruined marriage in a manila envelope wherever he goes.
mgrasso> robert loggia 2000: tanned and ready
Ironf> maybe they can find some hookers to car-pool with
THX-1138> And Earth passes through the tail of a comet and all the trucks come to life.
Ironf> Is he wearing a GKAS shirt under those overalls?
Ironf> I'm telling ya that's a GKAS shirt. See THX was selling them after all.
mgrasso> a little too much huggin' and kissin' at a truck stop for my taste
mgrasso> i mean, this movie just screams GPS from every congested, oily pore
Plumm> HOT RADIO TUNING ACTION!
mgrasso> sly stallone and montage.OTop06.JPG - 7.74 K
mgrasso> two great tastes that... oh who the f*** am i kidding
Ironf> That's how you know it's a good movie, the number of montages in it
Plumm> Now, he cooks a big breakfast on the engine block.
THX-1138> Power ballad
Ironf> Another GKAS shirt. Geez THX they must have been selling like hotcakes
THX-1138> Shhhh. GK's monitoring my every move.
BillBear> <--- Not a GK Agent. No, really.
Plumm> It's so good to see arm-wrestling handed down from father to son.
Plumm> The poor kid looks like he's passing George Kennedy through his urethra.
Plumm> Who gets custody of the groin wallet during the holidays
THX-1138> We join Black Dog already in progress.
Ironf> I see Sly wears clothing from the Solomun Grundy line
Ironf> Will he be able to arm wrestle his way outta this one, only time will tell on the next episode of Over the Top
THX-1138> DAMMIT! I AM THE LAW!
Ironf> So he has to move his lips to read.OTop09.JPG - 7.18 K
THX-1138> Dear Mike. I m lurning to rite.
Ironf> im sad
Plumm> LET'S GET READY TO........ sit there and grUUUUUUUUUUnt!
Ironf> Slo-mo grunting. Gotta love it
Ironf> It's vetern wrestler Terry Funk!
Plumm> I forget... is it a double-elimination tournament??
Ironf> I dunno Jamie
Plumm> They should find a way to let us, the audience, know that.
Plumm> Why is Charles Winchester wearing a false beard and judging arm-wrestling matches?
Plumm> All I care about is our GPIPS!
Ironf> Gay, pedophilic, incestous, porn subtext?
Ironf> He has to hit him in the stomach on the third charge
Plumm> that's so ominous, the way they cut to the fake pre-fight interview. quite chilling
Ironf> where is the insiprational talk by Carl Wethers when he needs it
THX-1138> Use the Power Glove, Sly
Ironf> slo-mo over the top action ahoy!
THX-1138> Blaster must be using his psi powers
THX-1138> The move.OTop02.JPG - 10.55 K
Ironf> I hear they patented it, but blaster ended up stealing it and putting a twist on the end of it.
THX-1138> And Sly applies the counter clockwise swirl.
THX-1138> Is this Meatloaf?
Plumm> ah, "Brahms' Ballado Forte 76" in G.

GRUNTS AND WHIMPERS

"Put a leash on that kid."
"I can't tolerate stupidity."
"you hot?" "you want it?"
"not bad."
"Are you still dealing drugs sir?"
"Pump the kid, pump the kid" GPS!!!
"Second sucks."
"I OWN YOU."



YOUR COMBATANTS!!



OTop12.JPG - 8.18 K
Big Daddy Sly.

Sly has entered this contest for all the best reasons.
Winning the big rig so that he and his boy can live life on the road.
Sly enjoys walks on the beach at night, ponies, and bad speech.
His measurements are 36-46-36.


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Tonga Tom

Hailing from the isle of Tonga, Tonga Tom is one of the fiercest competitors in the finals.
He hopes to win so that he may finally have the respect and admiration of his people.
He enjoys soft music and dancing by firelight.
His measurements are 30-27-27.


OTop03.JPG - 6.86 K
Big Hoss

The man known only as Big Hoss hails from Parts Unknown, New Mexico.
Known to have a never-ending hunger for chicken and chicken by-products, Big Hoss plans to sell the big rig to the highest bidder.
Hoss enjoys meals.
His measurements are 54-54-54.


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Henry "Human Blow Torch" Potts

Henry used to be a professional flame eater, but an accident after an all you can eat bean lunch gave him a new talent.
He hopes to win the rig to set up his own tour of the US.
He enjoys smells and kitty cats.
His measurements are 45-56-50.




Ironf goes over the side.
HOOYAH!