DAY
TRIPPER, YEAH
Balthayzr> Now engaging Airliner technobabble.Ironf> down, down, down.
EvilJen> their bumpers are locked.
Balthayzr> Airline food explodes?
Ironf> Kris, just fresh from the set of "Miracle in the Wilderness".
EvilJen> Rhubarb rhubarb journalistic rhubarb.
BEMaven> FAA still rates this debris as airworthy.
Ironf> And a shoe fetishist WAS THERE!
Ironf> Bill Smith. Likely story.
EvilJen> Bob Generic Name.
Balthayzr> Kris studied at the Clutch Cargo school of Method Acting.
Ironf> Kris seems to think that a beard = emotion.
Ironf> He's no Joe Patroni.
Balthayzr> See, the plane crashed because GK wasn't there with his rallying cry of "Keep Searching!"
EJ> involuntary conversion: when the mormons finally get to you.
BEMaven> 'involuntary conversion?' the Captain insisted he was born gay.
PhantomComputer> he... he... he... he said Cock - pit.Ironf> 'They don't call it a cockpit for nothing, honey.'
Balthayzr> So, what's the Charlie's Angels Interest in this? And will it involve bikinis?
BEMaven> "pilots are the first ones at the scene of an accident?" then you better fly planes without pilots.
Balthayzr> The Beige Trenchcoat Mafia.
Ironf> When do they put up the sheet to seperate the nerds from the jocks?
my-crow-soft> bodies arranged at JFK HIGH.
BEMaven> and the basketball team charges in during the autopsy to shoot a few hoops.
EJ> they're having a gay pride school dance.
TServo4> I wish this movie couldn't say more.
Ironf> When there is a crisis, all wormies must hold a press conference.
Balthayzr> 'hey! You can't ask a question unless you have a cigarette!'
Balthayzr> Louis Ballsmore?
EJ> "Sex?"
Balthayzr> "Hi, would you like to pretend I'm Geena Davis?"
PhantomComputer> strange women... Hyeah.
PhantomComputer> doesn't she ever stop smoking?
Ironf> If you just had sex with Kris, you'd try to get cancer and die as soon as you could too.Balthayzr> Must have been great sex, her hair hasn't moved an inch.
TServo4> Kris is sculpted out of belly skin.
Balthayzr> He enjoyed HIMSELF????
my-crow-soft> my god. his beard is ingulfing her.
BEMaven> 'i can't wait for the next airline disaster so we can boink again.'
EJ> Are... um, they personifing his beard or his penis?
Balthayzr> And now, Position 45 - The Crashing Airliner.
TServo4> You'd think he could afford eyebrows.
Balthayzr> Well, thanks. Now, what will I do for the other 59 minutes of my lunch hour?
Balthayzr> Geez, her hair is the sort of orange you find in 70's kitchen appliances.
EJ> Well, it's used by restaurants and women like her all the time.
EJ> Hotel California isn't as scary as the Eagles made it out to be.
Ironf> Paging Mr. Herman, Mr. Pee-Wee Herman.
Balthayzr> Oh, my God! The Maid cleaned the ROOM!!!
Ironf> Man, he has some really detailed masturbatory fantasies.
Balthayzr> You know your a lousy lover when you didn't even mess the comforter up.
Balthayzr> "This airport groupie Sanitized for your Protection."
EJ> TA, not American Airlines.Balthayzr> And now, "Millenium" done in Morse Code.
my-crow-soft> and someone has a BEEP.
Ironf> Anal probes of the rich and famous.
BEMaven> 'damn. i coulda use this last night.'
my-crow-soft> 5 seconds and he breaks it.
EJ> whoa, tracers. those are some good shrooms.
my-crow-soft> Terror from the year 5000 !
Ironf> When 80's Chick Hair Bands attack.
BEMaven> self-defibulation is usually not recommended.
Balthayzr> The new Tamagotchis come with a feature that makes sure you remember to feed them.
Ironf> 'I... need... changing.'
Balthayzr> Should I be scared that the Go-Gos are here to save us?
my-crow-soft> Mr. Roboto!
Ironf> Heartbeeps 2000: The Reckoning.my-crow-soft> Edward Scicorhands of the FUTURE!
PhantomComputer> is this what happens to Charlie?
Balthayzr> Let's consult the magical Bird Bath.
Ironf> Floroscopes of the future.
BEMaven> why do they have cybernetic tupperware?
TServo4> Did he just say you did not smoke enough weed?
BEMaven> can't see where they're going. can't see where they've been. those wacky women time travelers.
Balthayzr> Shower scene. Germaine to the plot, we promise!
mgrasso> this is the black C3P0, right?
TServo4> Since when does a robot have human eyes?
EJ> it's the Mammy of the Future, mike.
Ironf> I do not know no thing about birthing any babies. Does not compute.
Balthayzr> SO, they came back from the future to remake "Blazing Stewardesses"?
PhantomComputer> nothing like a few cheap news clips to show that we are travelling through time.
TServo4> plot hole count: endless.
mgrasso> alan alda teaches at the united nations.BEMaven> open mike night at the Metaphysics Lab.
EJ> This guy is channeling Carl Sagan.
Balthayzr> And, what if you went back in time and gave yourself instructions on how to build a time machine?
PhantomComputer> gee, no one is asleep at this lecture!
BEMaven> you mean this movie exists because some hunter stepped on a butterfly while hunting Tyranosaurus?
TServo4> well if you built a time machine in the future, couldn't you just think that time and meet yourself there?
mgrasso> scramble the futuristic mafia chicks for JFK!
Balthayzr> So, time travelling involves Screen Savers?
BEMaven> those uniforms... are they working for Pee Wee Airlines?
mgrasso> this isn't 12 monkeys, it's more like 3-1/2 monkeys.
EJ> In the future, stewardesses become the most precious commodity.
mgrasso> give a stewardess a taser, and she'll abuse it.
BEMaven> and please enjoy our crew of Mary Tyler Moore impersonators...
Balthayzr> So, we use time-travel to pull random folks off airlines. Don't save Lincoln or Malcolm X or anything. Save the rubber-vomit salesman in Row 5.
Balthayzr> Uh, are only the women panicking, cuz they're all I hear.
EJ> well, Balth, it is the 60s.
PhantomComputer> the laser show will now begin for your enjoyment.EJ> Rhubarb rhubarb confused time traveling rhubarb.
mgrasso> the langoliers 2: electric boogaloo.
BEMaven> and their luggage was forwarded to 1 million AD.
PhantomComputer> the white zone is for loading and unloading only!
Balthayzr> OK, so Al Lewis is pulling random folks off of planes and replacing them with Silent Screen actors?
BEMaven> you lost the stunner AGAIN?
PhantomComputer> She is stunned by losing the stunner.
Ironf> When does Corny Girl go back in time?
BEMaven> why don't they just attach the Stunner to their sleeves with an elastic band?
Ironf> Because elastic is illegal in the future.
EJ> the Robot Mammie is unhappy.
Ironf> It's a real shame that Shat programmed all thier speech patterns.
PhantomComputer> And now ... let's reuse the same scene!
Ironf> They don't play well with others, do they?
EJ> Wonder Woman! Doom doo doo doo doo doo.
Ironf> "Drop your hankie, wiggle your behind."
TServo4> That's one perv robot.
Balthayzr> Here, have some CFM heels.Ironf> These are classified as f-me pumps.
EJ> The frightening thing is that people did dress like this in the 80s. I remember.
Balthayzr> "Hi. Can we have sex?"
BEMaven> and she gets picked up by 55 airline pilots befoe she can make it to Kris.
EJ> So, the entire plot was based around saving some footage?
Balthayzr> 'Why yes, *I* have your stunner. And so does my friend, Alex.'
PhantomComputer> When the film re-runs, can we make the same remarks?
Balthayzr> "You must be the luckiest woman in the world."
mgrasso> what are they going to the sizzler?
PhantomComputer> ... until she met him!
Ironf> I'm all for the women's movement, especially when walking behind it. (male pig).
Balthayzr> 'Uh, ma'am? You just drank our decorative candle.'
EJ> sweet booze will let her do Kris.
Balthayzr> I'm glad we get to see these 2 talk with their mouths full.
EJ> 3 hours of stupid giggling later...
Balthayzr> Could we see more of Grampa Munster and pseudo-Data? At least we had a kind-of plot going.
Ironf> I'm here to fix your stunner (porn intro scene).EJ> like kissing a brillo pad.
EJ> show me the pressing of the lips.
Balthayzr> Yes, yes, we saw this, move along....
Ironf> It's like a porn dvd with different angles, not that I'd know about that or anything.
mgrasso> kris squared brings home the lovin'.
BEMaven> 'eww, louise--- you kiss like liquid metal.'
TServo4> Make it stop mommy!
Ironf> Then we wouldn't have had to sit through the sex... twice.
mgrasso> 'tonight on VH1's behind the music... a barechested kris kristofferson squints and breathes funny.'
BEMaven> Kris is programmed in singular techniques of pleasuring.
PhantomComputer> Where's the fast forward when you need it?
Balthayzr> Who made the bed, Ray Harryhausen?
TServo4> PULL THE EMEGENCY STOP FOR THIS MOVIE!
Ironf> erectile subroutines innitiated. Peppermint deployed.
Balthayzr> "Here, i filmed all the sex we had."
BEMaven> on a 30 second disk, Balth.
Balthayzr> 'If I go back at the right time, I can have a 3-way with Kris, me, and me!'mgrasso> temporal censorship? as plot contrivances go, that's a nutty one.
* BEMaven goes to get some pop and trips over a Stunner.
mgrasso> hey! there's a stunner in my devil dog!
Balthayzr> Hmmmmm. I don't remember having a stunner on my fridge.
BEMaven> oboy. she took my stapler instead of her stunner. is she gonna be surprised.
Balthayzr> He had a cockpit voice recorder in the motel room?
EJ> what a loverly tiffany lamp.
Balthayzr> For no reason, enjoy our Tiffany floor Lamp.
Balthayzr> Yes, when I can't locate someone, I immediatly think "Time Travel! Of course!!"
mgrasso> two men, brought together by their love for the stunner.
Balthayzr> "She got off some way" Ewwwwww.
Balthayzr> Uh, count down to another countdown?
Ironf> and she kills them and puts them into sexual positions.
Balthayzr> So, the future depends on Wendy O. Williams stealing fertile folks?
BEMaven> 'you need a Baby Maker? honey, i'm your man.'
Balthayzr> Best way to test a strange weapon. Point it at yourself.mgrasso> what's the big deal? some stupid guy dies.
BEMaven> a pHD and he doesn't know what a trigger does?
Balthayzr> C'mon, my licorace robot will save us!
BEMaven> BTW, the Professor's dying words were 'Ptew, Ptew'.
Balthayzr> Pilot controls donated by Spirograph.
EJ> Come into the light, Carol Ann.
mgrasso> flight attendant training comes in handy here.
Balthayzr> "Seengle fhyle".
Ironf> Take a chance, drop your pants.
BEMaven> she's going to have his child. where's the incentive in that?
EJ> All Robots go to Heaven.
BEMaven> and they land on Fred and Wilma.
PhantomComputer> please ... this must be the end!!!!
Ironf> 'We've only just begun...'
mgrasso> so, they just kinda ended up in the sun.TServo4> whoa the credits are the fastest thing in this film.
EJ> they went far enough into the future to see the sun become a red giant.
Ironf> and Superman lost his powers.
It's a universal constant: chicks go for a hunky fellow with a macho mane... but are repulsed by telltale flakes on his manly shoulders.