x190 NIGHTBREED (12/6/98)

Directed by Clive "Rawhead Rex" Barker
Written by Clive "Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh" Barker

Nightbreed. The mere mention of the name should make you shiver. One of the main characters is played by a director buddy of the director. Which should be a clue that it's not all that good. The film really doesn't explain itself all that well, which really is typical of Barker's written words as well. We have a group of freaks and geeks that don't eat chickenheads. Then we have a guy that is in therapy that tells about his dreams killing people, which then happen. Anyway he gets killed, but comes back to life as a freak. It's all very complicated. He ends up fighting some rednecks that are planning on blowing up the cemetery where the freaks live so they can build a giant still. The rednecks are defeated, but the cemetery is blown up pretty good. So it's a happy ending for both sides. John Agar also makes a very special cameo.


Djenk> Greatful Dead: The early years
BEMaven> cave painting by numbers
Djenk> Cave Paintings of Sure Commericals
BEMaven> raimi's shaky cam strikes again.
Ironf> When bad prostetic effects attack
Djenk> When Costume Parties Go Bad
BEMaven> Spencer's Gift Asylum
Elroy-L> the erotic exotic ball
Djenk> These were the images he conjures up during sex....lovely
Ironf> good thing they don't cut much on TBS
Ironf> Sign one your film may be in trouble: You invite other directors to play one of your leads
Elroy-L> sign two, focus on a stack of balls.
BEMaven> Doc: I like fruit. You like fruit.
Elroy-L> Prozac: the early years
Ironf> It's a KILLER
BEMaven> uh, you don't take the whole bottle at once, guy.
Ironf> To get good reviews, they slipped the same drug in the soda of the test audience
Djenk> Don't you hate it when you mix up the acid with the anti-psychotics?
BEMaven> oh, yeah. swallowing lithium all at once is VERY healthy.
Ironf> Fun Fact: Meridian is the title of a Full Moon Video movie about Werewolves
BEMaven> 'you.....you.....you're the one who directed 'Crash', you bastard!'
Ironf> NOT a matte painting
Ironf> And the magical Bong lights up
Elroy-L> hey, watch it with that forehead, pokey.
Ironf> You can love your dog, just don't 'love' your dog
Ironf> So after he was fired from all those McDonald's commercials, looks like Moon Man had to start mugging folks
BEMaven> we are more than 10 minutes into this, and all i can make out is the hero has some body odor issues.
Djenk> So, what do we have so far......a confused, acid-dropping, recently deceased misfit with connections to the afterlife....a shrink with a seriously twisted bedside manner.....
BEMaven> you know, Clive Barker felt people didn't really understand this film
Djenk> Clive confused "not understanding" with "deep loathing"
Ironf> Whores: Hearts-o-gold since 1802
Djenk> Plese don't smoke, we're dead
Ironf> nope, not over the top at all
Elroy-L> recap: so the head shrinker kills the guy who everyone thinks is the killer, but isn't because he's meat for the moonheads?
Djenk> Elroy: Yep, and 3:2 the shrink is the killer
Djenk> actually, more like 2:2.....
Elroy-L> if the head shrinker is the killer, then what's with the moonheads?
Elroy-L> this movie disturbs me.
BEMaven> i'm guessing the killer turns out to be James Cameron.
Ironf> That's one ugly ass cat
Ironf> See the shrink is the killer and he uses the tapes of his patients to give him the ideas for killing, thus he can easily pin it on them
Elroy-L> ok, but what about the moonheads?
Ironf> They are "boogie-men" for lack of a better word. Mutant race that live seperated from society
Elroy-L> and their roll in this movie, besides filler, is?
Djenk> A plot device....
Ironf> filler, talk soup filler, Abrams, Adams, Agar
BEMaven> more filler, Elroy...to keep Cronenberg from acting.
Elroy-L> oh, so he's "acting" now, is he?
Ironf> There is no acting, he's actually that damn creepy
Ironf> wait till he brings out the rednecks, then it's a party
Ironf> Oh and the reason he kills is cause he wants into Midean too
Elroy-L> so, he gets the special power of being ugly?
BEMaven> so after, what...50 years?...Agar can finally act?
Elroy-L> thats a stupid power, she can show people what they already know.
BEMaven> she shrivels at the sight of bad spfx.
Elroy-L> so, he wears the mask so he can be known as "Button Eyes"?
Ironf> Where did he come from, where did he go? Where didja ya come from Button Eye Joe
Ironf> It's exactly this reason that Blue Devil was kicked outta the JLA
GersonK> Just another Saturday at the Mariner's Inn
BEMaven> a cemetary with it's own fun house?
BEMaven> The Goddess HandJiva?
*** Plumm has joined #MST-HomeGame
Plumm> so recap me
Ironf> Amazing how a film can make no sense when you edit it badly
BEMaven> there's a race of shape shifters whose sole purpose is to pad out films, plumm
Djenk> Plumm: We have one live psycho shrink who wants to kill dead people....and one formerly dead guy who ran away with his still living girlfriend
Ironf> Jamie, you missed john Agar
BEMaven> yes, Clive Barker has introduced a cunning plot twist: A psychiatrist who is secretly a crazed killer.
Plumm> damn
BEMaven> more importantly...you missed Agar disguised as a xmas tree.
Ironf> Cronenburg wrapped him with Christmas lights, then shoved a big knife in him
Ironf> Who would have guessed. Illinois Nazis
Plumm> When did this turn into a Jack Van Impe video?
Djenk> Ah, heres a good idea.....rednecks, weapons, gasoline
Elroy-L> and trucks!
Plumm> Next, on ABC.
Plumm> On a very special Growing Pains, Carol's drunk driving victim undead boyfriend feeds her too much corpse and poor Carol goes bulimic.
Ironf> ohh a Shatner dropkick!
BEMaven> BTW, I have the Cliff Notes for 'Nightbreed'. All ten volumes.
Djenk> Ladies and Gentlemen, Your 98 Medina Monsters!!!
Ironf> I have lost any and all interest in this 'film'
Plumm> What card did my sucking chest wound pick? Guess!
BEMaven> Clive Barker: 'don't understand my story, huh? well, what if i just blow everything up?'
Ironf> enjoy this fine setup for a sequel
BEMaven> clive Barker: 'don't understand my story? too bad, i'm planning three triologies. haaahaaahaaa!'
Plumm> so, it was a movie and now it's over.


"I can smell innocense at 50 yards."
"He's got a gun!"
"Miss Winston...everyone has a secret face."
"Do you want a drink...I want a drink."
"Aaron Boon...the tribes of Moon embrace you."
"The child has no life to save."
"Y'all come back now, ya hear."
"I was born to destroy them."
"Shangri-La on dope. We love it"


Please let us take this time to reflect upon the career of John Agar, an MST3K favorite. John Agar was born to a meat packer in Chicago, the eldest of four. In 1945 he took a chance and got hitched to Shirley Temple, which put him in the public eye and allowed him to get into the acting biz. Agar debuted opposite John Wayne, Henry Fonda and Temple in John Ford's FORT APACHE. After for years of violent domestic disputes, his marriage to Shirley Temple ended in 1949. But his movie career, such as it was, continued. Popular with fans of Westerns and sci-fi flicks, Agar is a staple at film conventions and autograph shows.

Ironf blah blah blah