X163 PUPPETMASTER IV (8/21/98)


Directed by Jeff "Johnny Mysto: Boy Wizard" Burr
Written by Douglas "Puppet Master 5: The Final Chapter" Aarniokoski and Steven E. "Puppet Master 5: The Final Chapter" Carr


Puppets. Puppets animated without strings. That's what this film is all about. That and a 6 armed coyboy with a strange little laught that we all must enjoy. Anyway, these two Corey wannabes drag two chickas, one of which is a psychic, to an old hotel for "research". While there, they find the dolls in a trunk in a room. They shoot them full of crack and they wake up, as any of us would. They play an exiting round of laser tag while becoming good friends. Then some little demons from hell try to take out the puppets. They fight back and in the end, they must awaken the Decapitron, who can morph his head into Guy Rolfe.


dungarees> What is it with plasticine dolls and eyeballs?
Djenk> Feel the power of a degree from Devry flow!
andre> The new Nintendo SquintYourEyesBoy
MrBooze> Dr ExpendableBlackMan?
dungarees> He's vainly hoping that horizontal stripes will confuse us into believing his chest is not concave
Plumm> 1984: Dear Mr. Henshaw by Beverly Cleary (Morrow)
andre> Dear God, it's Me, Puppetmaster.
dungarees> It's a transformer, more than meets the eye, sir.
Balthayzr> It's an Alien doll. I got about 6, but *I* didn't make a movie with them.
dungarees> Rick=fag
andre> Suddently it's a breathmint commercial.
MrBooze> The Psychic, ladies and gentlemen
Ironf> HooHaa it's now the Spice channel
Spatch> good lord, it's Vanilla Ice
MrBooze> And Buster Poindexter. The cast is complete
ServoT> Bedwetter's camp
Plumm> What are those sticks doing up your ass?
andre> it's science.
Ironf> Psychics always wear black ribbon around their necks. Keeps their heads on.
andre> Ah, flashing radio shack LEDS. My favorate.
MrBooze> Gotta sterilize these sex toys.
andre> puppet fries are up.
andre> This role really cried out for say, a Sinbad or a Roc.
dungarees> He might want to invest in an eye piece for that microscope....or a stage...or some objectives
MrBooze> So are we agreed that its common practice to incinerate gifts we recieve in the mail?
Balthayzr> Welcome to Muppet Labs. My assistant, beaker, is testing the new Steroid I invented.
Balthayzr> Yes, blond with black eyebrows. My favorite.
Ironf> We study gravational effects on hair.
andre> Interesting mole placement on Skippy.
Balthayzr> Hair courtisy of Japanese Animation industry.
andre> Sam Raimi's Puppetcam
andre> It's a Corey Feldman Gestapo doll.
Balthayzr> It's an Edger Winter Army doll.
andre> my, you have an extensive collection of porn here.
Balthayzr> Wow, 66 megs of Pamela Lee and Chase MAsterson.
dungarees> The puppet only likes to come in my mouth!
THX-1138> The puppet tastes like peppermint
Balthayzr> I heard this was the movie "Small Soldiers" was based on.
Balthayzr> Ah, H.P. Lovecraft is having a yard sale.
MrBooze> Listen, Buster, never ever EVER mention "hot oil massage" again!
Plumm> "Hot Oil Massage" = "Dunking her head in fry grease for that extra flavor."
andre> Ok, his hair is really starting to irritate me.
Spatch> women. can't live with 'em, can't sic deadly puppets on 'em.
Plumm> You know, they haven't even opened Pandora's Box yet, but I've already lost any hope this movie will entertain me.
Balthayzr> "It's daVinci's notes for a Spanking Machine."
dungarees> Shouldn't they be beating off while reading the puppetmaster's diary?
Ironf> eh eh eh eh
andre> Ancient morphine.
Ironf> horse
Ironf> junk
Ironf> smack
Plumm> Westworld 38: Puppetworld starring Yul Smith.
THX-1138> Toloun Foo, Thanks for everything.
THX-1138> Women should not handle Toulon's Secret Sauce.
Balthayzr> Yes, it's the home Hunter Thomson Kit!
Plumm> Neon redrum heroin, what a buzz!
Balthayzr> I need 6cc's of green shit, stat!
Balthayzr> Don't even look! STOP!!!
andre> Propecia has developed a method of animating your hair without strings!
andre> What if Charles Band was allowed to explore his miniature fetish until someone shot him?
Ironf> eh eh eh eh eh
andre> your favorate laugh, rees
* dungarees shoots her screen
dungarees> We represent, the lollipop gang, the lollipop gang, the lollipop gang!
Balthayzr> These are the worst sex dolls ever.
THX-1138> Yes, let's all go to sleep with the animated puppets running around.
Ironf> This role just screamed for one of the Coreys. Possible both roles so they could play off one another.
andre> My methodology involves stripping down to boxers and drinking turpentine.
Plumm> Just breed with the puppet, woman!
THX-1138> Puppet Floyd Laser Show! Woooo!
Balthayzr> "The evil is in your pants. Let me get it out for you."
andre> you taste like propecia.
Balthayzr> Battle of the Fake hair.
Balthayzr> Yes, having the action take place off-screen to save money is a *good* idea.
andre> also an excellent cost-cutting tactic is to employ 4 actors in one location. For the whole damn movie.
andre> I want a Guy Rolfe cameo and I want it now.
Balthayzr> Did you guys come here to teach me about Scientology?
Plumm> Endorsed by George Kennedy.
Ironf> I need to start my carving of a GK puppet to animate without strings
ServoT> She's all psychic and stuff and she couldn't tell he's a jerk, anyone can tell he's a jerk
Ironf> Ahh batch eater puppet
Balthayzr> Fear the Crotch-Reaper!
Plumm> When Charles Band's Sex Toys Attack!
Ironf> eh eh eh eh eh eh
andre> behind that "eh eh eh eh" laugh is a heart of gold.
THX-1138> The El Santo puppet!
Plumm> Mistress Barbie whips Slave Ken while Slut Skipper services him!
Ironf> go go mighty computer nerd!
andre> Eh Eh eh eh eh
andre> That extra laugh was just for you, dungpants.
Balthayzr> Eh heh eh heh eh heh!!!
andre> EH EH EH EH EH!
* dungarees screams in agony at the grunting puppet .
andre> Guy Rolfe is my new short duration personal savior.
Balthayzr> Rated TV-14 for Violent Puppet Porn.
Ironf> So better, grunting puppets or screeching creatures?
Balthayzr> Next on Springer: Pinatas that Fought Back.
andre> EH EH EH EH EH... eh?
Balthayzr> That's what they call sex? "ANimating the Decapitron?"
Balthayzr> You must use wacky Hollywood hacker skills!
MrBooze> You see, the computer see's animtated puppets as a series of ones and zeros...
dungarees> How about Global Thermonuclear Puppets?
Balthayzr> Yes, Full Moon is dedicated in only bringing you the best in Killer Puppet Movies.
Ironf> Tunneler is a fancy lad, isn't he?
andre> You know, this just struck me as being... you know, just a little goofy.
Balthayzr> Have you ever danced with a gremlin in the pale moonlight?
Balthayzr> Puppet master Karate fighters! On sale now!
MrBooze> You can't be a master anything without a cool goatee.
Ironf> plop it's over
* MrBooze sways to the enchanting puppet master theme
Djenk> I learned that the power to control killer puppets is kinda dull
MrBooze> That was "Please rent the sequel: Puppet Master 5"
dungarees> I learned we don't need no steenkin' plot
THX-1138> I learned that I need some killer puppets to do my bidding.
Balthayzr> I learned that basing a horror movie on "PInocchio" is a bad idea.
Ironf> I learned that Sixshooter got all the good lines with "eh eh eh eh eh eh eh"
Djenk> I learned I should listen to female channelers when they warn me
andre> I learned that even the mighty Guy Rolfe can't redeem a 12 minute Puppetmaster movie.
Balthayzr> I learned Guy Rolfe just stood in front of his home camera and mailed his part in.


"Sometimes I feel so close I can just taste it"
"You brought me another girl as a present!"
"The Puppet will be with you.....always."
"Spread out."
"Here lemme take a wack at that"
"I whack a lot, you know......
"Hey, I can't DO macho!"
"If you loved me, you would."


*** Wonderdick (Wonderdick@sppop20.cornhusker.net) has joined #MST-HomeGame
Wonderdick> I am Wonderdick
andre> Wonderdick, eh? Charming.
andre> So how did you become Wonderdick?
Balthayzr> I'll agree to that, Dick.
MrBooze> I am PonderablePenis
dungarees> I am SuperSnatch!
* ServoT is personally concerned with Wonderdick's self image
Balthayzr> I am ThinkingBatch!
andre> I am uh, some clever and rude nickname. Yeah.
andre> so, Wonderdick. Do you have super penile powers?
Wonderdick> yes
MrBooze> And these are my sidekicks, the Testis Twins!
Balthayzr> Can you climax faster than a speeding bullet?
ServoT> you really don't need to demonstrate, wd
Spatch> The Viagra Avenger.
andre> please elaborate and list your penile powers.
andre> I want footnotes, too.
Balthayzr> WonderDick's name is Sally?
Wonderdick> hey baby
Wonderdick> 6 shooter is the best
andre> yes, baby?
Wonderdick> hey who asked you jackass
andre> Wonderdick> hey who asked you jackass
Wonderdick> Hey
andre> hey.
Wonderdick> I did
ServoT> I learned wonderdick is not quite my hero
andre> Wonderdick, now that the movie's over... can you tell us stories about being such a wonderdick?
Wonderdick> I learned ServoT is a gay homosexual
Balthayzr> Are you a Wonderdick, or do you just wonder about dicks?
Spatch> I think Oasis would have done far better in my book if they had named the song "Wonderdick"
Wonderdick> So long jackass
Wonderdick> Hey are you all guys
andre> I'm an eldelry women with a penchant for strong men named Wonderdick.
Wonderdick> Are you threating me
andre> contrary to what you may think, MrBooze is a 21 year old czech model with one breast.
Wonderdick> you will feel the powers of Wonderdick
andre> Oh boy! Can we really?
MrBooze> But it's not where you might think.
Balthayzr> Feel the Wonderdick? No, thanks.
Wonderdick> You sick bastard
andre> wonderdick, do you envy dick smith?
Wonderdick> only women feel the Wonderdick
Wonderdick> nope
Ironf> Wonder, can you quote much anything else than South Park?
andre> what if you're a hermaphrodite?
andre> Oh, is wonderdick a south park term? There goes all the charm of "Wonderdick"
Balthayzr> You know, I can't work up any fear for a man named after a '70 porn movie, sorry.
Spatch> Ladies and Gentlemen, President Dirk Diggler
andre> Wonderdick, please regale us with more examples of your throbbing charisma.
*** Wonderdick (Wonderdick@sppop20.cornhusker.net) has left #MST-HomeGame

Ironf is animated too once you shoot him full of crank.

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