x266 SOUTH BEACH (06/26/99)

Directed by Fred "Waiting at the bar" Williamson
Written by Michael Thomas "Night Vision, that's right, the softcore porn video game" Montgomery

Finally the power trio of Fred Williamson, Gary Busey, and a dash of Peter Fonda has been brought to the masses. No longer will you have to watch that horrid fan made movie that spliced together Hider in the House, Hammer, and Easy Rider. In this powerhouse of a film, we have Fred as a PI or something that likes his laaady, who's a phone whore, of the "PICK UP THE PHONE!" type. Busey is his very good friend that just drops into the movie to keep it from getting too boring. Peter is a bartender with no fashion sense. Fred's girl is getting these weird calls and her whore friends are dying, maybe. I really didn't watch it that carefully as to plot. I just like seeing Gary Busey and making fun of him. It's alll good.


BryanL> A Po' Boy is production is right, what with those 20 dollar character generator credits.
thayer> yay, a movie about stalking!
Ironf> I take it my Po' Boy, they couldn't afford sound.
Ironf> South Batch Beach
BryanL> Negro on the golf course! Call in the dogs!
thayer> what lovely shirts they're sporting
Ironf> And Gary tries to snort a ball.
BryanL> Busey's drivin' that golf cart without a helmet. Will he ever learn?
Ironf> This may be one of the most upbeat montages we've had
BryanL> Directed by Fred... wow.
BryanL> Busey's from the Freudian school of cigar enjoyment.
Ironf> Well lets see, a 8-ball down there is only....
BryanL> They're gonna start the fogey version of the A Team, aren't they.
BryanL> Wow... he got knocked back by the bullet a second after it hit.
BryanL> And he bleeds cheery Kool-Aid.
Ironf> It's a Colt 45 Bry, what do you expect
Ironf> When mullets attack
BryanL> He says "Oh, Mama" more than Johnny Bravo.
Ironf> Max Cherry!
thayer> fubu?
Ironf> For Us By Us.
* Ironf is down with the lingo, YO!
thayer> you know, i think this is the first time i've watched more than 30 seconds of this channel in a row
BryanL> Whoever he is, he's got damn fine taste in tinfoil rings.
Ironf> Is that ring a Fred Flinstone ring?
Ironf> When will his whore lust be stopped?
BryanL> What was that, and where was it bleeding from?
thayer> they just told her to lie down and squeezed some ketchup over her
Ironf> Are whores usually used to go pick up packages?
BryanL> Whores give "packages" a pick-me-up, they don't pick up packages.
Ironf> Fred likes to sing showtunes on the weekends.
BryanL> This is a whole new set of characters and people that I'm completely unmotivated to learn about.
Ironf> That was almost a move for move recreation of his part in From Dawn to Dusk
Ironf> Did they get a Po' Boy version of John Carpenter for this score?
BryanL> And when I say "gun", I don't mean your penis. I actually mean your gun.
thayer> so what happened to that random chick he was hitting on in the first 10 minutes?
BryanL> He's been too busy workin' for the weekend to get married.
BryanL> And the movie continues to plod between its three variedly shaded females.
Ironf> I hope Busey was more than just a cameo type appearance.
BryanL> Subplot four? How much more does this movie need?
Ironf> In the script it said "Insert idle Sugar-Daddy chat here"
thayer> i've stopped trying to keep track. just going to sit back and let the miami vice fashion and random characters wash over me.
Ironf> I wonder if Fonda puts this on his resume.
BryanL> Damn, he looks weird.
BryanL> And thus, all the subplots converge into one, and there's an hour and fifteen minutes left in this movie.
thayer> he hasn't lit that damn cigar all movie. he must do...other...things with it
BryanL> So, the windshield's made of gasoline?
Ironf> It's a newer model.
BryanL> Mmm. Gin bottle and a straw. That's classy.
Ironf> ahh bad rap, as if there was any good.
BryanL> This is that new rap that doesn't actually keep time with the music.
BryanL> Harriet! Harri-et! Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis!
Ironf> Is that a black "Crackhead Bob"?
BryanL> We have exchanged our customary lingo. Now, despite being fifty years old, I appear to be down with it. Thank you, my friend.
*** mgrasso (mgrasso@ has joined #mst-homegame
mgrasso> well, i just realized that my cable system here in boston doesn't have BET. ergo, if we go by cable systems, canada is blacker than boston.
BryanL> Well, given that we've spent the last week getting through the first hour of this, maybe they'll add it before it's actually over.
Ironf> Grasso, this is actually just slightly higher than soft-core porn acting.
Ironf> I want to hear Busey give out the jive.
TomServo> Is Fred crying?
Ironf> I think plot 1 was just to get him a fem to GIT IT ON with
thayer> well she doesn't waste time
BryanL> Nice thing about interracial nookie. You can always tell whose parts are whose in those odd television shots.
Ironf> What he's really after are the ledgers.
BryanL> Peter used his own wardrobe in this, I bet.
TomServo> Remember, always, always go to a suspect's room alone! Never forget that!
Ironf> Leftovers from Easy.
BryanL> Fred was like, all, "Hey, Peter, bring a denim jacket or something". Then, the next day, "What the fuck is that, Peter? Can you smoke that jacket, too?" But, of course, no budget, so they had to go with it.
Ironf> Shouldn't that phone have had a cord or an antennae?
TomServo> No, it's a Po' phone
BryanL> Again with the Magical Cordless Fone.
Ironf> It's like a giant white banana
BryanL> We're now in what, week three of this movie?
TomServo> I'm really not too surprised that this was directed and produced by Fred....
Ironf> Boat Motor-fu!
BryanL> Simulated Chili Peppers.
Ironf> Cue cheap dance mix music
thayer> i think you can basically count on busey being the psycho in just about any movie he's in.
Ironf> Yes you can.
BryanL> They Live II.
Ironf> He should know that you can't hurt a Busey by hitting them in the head.
thayer> she just comes up and says hi, no mention of the fact that there's blood running down the side of his face
Ironf> What a piece...
thayer> man, i so did not understand any part of that movie
BryanL> Always end your movie with a stillframe of Fred Williamson fondling Peter Fonda's breasts.
Ironf> ALWAYS!
BryanL> I think Episode One should have ended with that.
Ironf> I enjoy the character name of "Man"


"Some of these guys wake up in the morning at full attention."
"You can't run from a shadow in the moonlight."
"I'm not here to make friends, I need your services."
"I can breathe underwater, turniphead."
"You're one bad MF, word, I'm out."


Every once in a while, you can gain a certain insight to a movie by knowing more of what went on behind the scenes and also what was going on in the life of the people in the film. We hope that this small section will be helpful in some way to your total understandment of the fine piece of work that is "South Beach."

Gary Busey, friend to all children and people that happen to have some blow on them, was joking around on the set showing people the exact pose he had to assume while getting the tumor removed from his nasal cavity. We TOTALLY believe that his indulgence of coke had nothing to do with it AT ALL. He has since found religion and is a member of the Promise Keepers. When asked his opinion on the Bible, he likes to reply "Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth."

Fred Williamson and Peter Fonda were deeply in love at the time of filming. You will notice there aren't a lot of scenes involving the both of them because whenever they acted together for more than a few mins, they had to rush back to their trailer to finish things. Because their love was frowned upon in the States, Fred and Peter ran off to Europe together. They have been happily together ever since. Finally a Hollywood couple that made it!

Once a big player in movies, there isn't a lot of call for Mick. He was a prominent feature in many a 70's movies, but after the early 80's, roles because harder and harder to find. Mick wasn't afraid to get a little beat up for his parts either, but that didn't seem to help him get more work. Recently though he can be seen doing cameo spots on "That 70's Show."

Did I happen to mention that the tumor they found in his nose was the size of a golfball? How much do you have to snort to grow something like that?! I mean, that's a lot of money just to put up your nose, but at least he grew something with it. Lots of people don't even get the tumor. I guess that's something to be proud of in a way.

Ironf got his swerve on.