x55 Strays (01/03/98)

Director: John McPherson
"Writer": Shaun Cassidy
Set Medic: Bundy Chanock

Woo boy. Hang on, this one hurt. The film opens on an old woman that has tons of cats. She goes to feed them and a couple "gang banger" cats take the old lady out over a can of tender vittles. Fast forward to thirtysomething guy Timothy Busfield who moves his family to the house left vacant by the woman. He's a lawyer and is handling a divorce for his wife's sister, who has the hots for him. Ewwww. Anywho the family finds a cat that has a kitten and they keep it. Later after one dead phone repairman and an almost killed dog, they find out that they have a roving gang of feral cats that think the thirtysomethings are trying to take their turf. Highlights include a crib full of cats and a railing kill of the wife's sister.

mgrasso> grandma's drunk againstrays02.JPG - 17.46 K
THX-1138> No kitty! This is my pot pie!
cthulhu> Let me see, I'm got fancy gin, tender whisky...
Q> am i the only one who sense the old lady's about to become fancy feast?
mgrasso> seems like a nice town. let's see: "human population 633, cat population 1,000,003?" huh?
Bice> The evil cat will be represented tonight by a low casio keyboard chord.
bowleg> And it's built over an indian burial ground to boot!
cthulhu> I don't like your area either.
SirDude> did he just eat that dog biscuit?
cthulhu> You know, if you look at these two through special sunglasses, they look like skull-headed aliens.
Ironf> I'm Yuppie Jack.
mgrasso> i wonder how they'll explain the phone guy's body, ravaged by cats, found in their basement...strays04.JPG - 15.97 K
Djenk1> Now if I were a bottle of whiskey, where would I hide?
mgrasso> jeez, emasculate him a little *more* why dontcha!
Djenk1> Toonces! NOOOO!
Q> affection through material wealth from a yuppie. who'd'a thunk it?
Djenk1> All I did was try to stick my tounge down you husbands throat, whats your problem?
ACTION: Q would rather see killer cats than yuppies rutting
Djenk1> Hell with private property laws...where's that window
Ironf> Cat on my head, cat on my head
andre> Every woman secretly dreams of making time with nerdly/wormy bearded guy.
Ironf> Urine, it's what's for breakfast.
Bice> 30-something guy in his underwear. I couldn't gone my whole life without seeing that.
Ironf> For you viewing enjoyment, we have converted the enitre movie into letterboxed cat-cam. Thank you.
andre> Cats and industry, working hand in hand to bring YOU a better tommorow!strays05.JPG - 13.46 K ACTION: Balthayzr gives kitties Pep talk.
Balthayzr> "I want you to get in there and Kill!"
Q> you know, i always prefer my vets to be salty and extremely gruff when my animals are sick
Ironf> My cat is currently chasing something that is only seen on the astral plane.
Balthayzr> The cats have Jamming Technology?
Elroy-L> i guess these cats could be thwarted by a ball of yarn...
THX-1138> Mom! Kitty's being a dildo!
andre> the cats are coming from inside the house!
Q> jeez, the cat needs a tuneup. no no, you're flooding it! try pumping the gas pedal!
cthulhu> Honey have you by having acid flashbacks again?
Balthayzr> Meanwhile, the cat's are downstairs ordering Pay-Per-View movies.
Djenk1> they'll take my phone away when they pry it out of my cold dead hands
Balthayzr> Give us the Catnip! We need a fix, man!!!!strays07.JPG - 12.17 K
PDeveau> Editing done by Timmy!
Ironf> Now if Peter jackson had directed this, she would take out all the cats with a lawnmower and we would have a happy ending.
Elroy-L> a cat weighing 2 pounds is attacking me!
andre> cats aren't exactly well-armored creatures.
Djenk1> you could almost see her knuckles turning white from holding that stuffed cat so tightly...
SirDude> Because the girl sprayed the cat with the water gun and inflicted unrevesible phycological damage.
andre> you know, a baseball bat could take care of this problem real-easy like.
Ironf> I call bullshit alert
Bice> She crawled out the pet door. Oh, the irony.
Djenk1> Try to remember basic electricity here, Mr Busman
Ironf> Oddly enough, Cat-cam was an actual camera strapped to a cat. Here we though it was some kinda special equipment and all.
THX-1138> That Ike to you.strays10.JPG - 18.28 K
Bice> I was just about to say the same thing, andre.
andre> I learned that noodly bearded guys can stand up to a bunch of house cats.
Djenk1> I learned that veternarians can be such uppity snits...
Elroy-L> i learned that cats can jam phone signals....
Djenk1> I learned that a bathtub toy CAN outact Timothy Busfield
Ironf> I learned a faulty microwave is a wet persons friend.
Q> i learned that at one point in their careers, timothy busfield and kathleen quinlan were waaaaay desperate for work
PDeveau> I learned that TNT can dig up crappier movies than Sci-Fi.

"Dark cramped places always remind me of home"
"Whoah, honey, one of these days you're gonna fall RIGHT on your HEAD!"
"I know baby, it's ok"
"I know how they behave, that's why I have a dog"
"Most of the wounds SEEM to be superficial..."
"my sinuses are completely inflamed. I think I have a right to be concerned!"
"The psychological damage will be profound"
"We could get another place in the same area"

This HG Capsule was coughed up by Ironf
HIT START strays11.JPG - 11.72 K