x26 THEY LIVE (11/8/97)

Writers: Frank "First Movie" Armitage, John "One Shoot" Carpenter, Ray "Never Work Again" Nelson
Director: John "Halloween II" Carpenter
Producer: Andre "Blob '88" Blay

They live is your basic John Carpenter movie. Long repeating bass riffs that just go on and on and on and on and on. I think all but two strings were broke on the thing and Carpenter said "go with it" or something to that effect. Carpenter is a one shoot kinda guy. Those that actually watch this will notice a LONG fight scene between the two leads. This was only supposed to be a 20 second fight, but they improvised and Carpenter liked it so much he kept it. That and it made the movie longer. This was actually Piper's fourth movie, but he is mostly know for this and Bodyslam. Unlike some Carpenter movies, this has a plot. Aliens from somewhere have somehow made everyhting have a sumbliminal message that is brainwashing people and Piper stumbles on a way to see the real stuff. The way: ordinary sunglasses. Yes the aliens had time to put all these messages up, but not enough time to get rid of the glasses. Oh and Piper meets a woman with retinal-burning red hair and wierd eyes.

Balthayzr> "Wrestler for Hire! Wrestling done while you wait!"
cthulhu> This was Piper in between the wrestling hay-day during the early 80s and the NWO.piper8.jpg - 7.53 K
bowleg3> he's no shaft when it comes to jaywalking
Balthayzr> What, is the sidewalk on fire?
Balthayzr> He has Razor Ramon's toothpick!
BryanL> Don't try seducing her, Roddy. Just say no.
cthulhu> Wrestler... I wore a stupid kilt and pretended to play the pipes.
cthulhu> It's Jules after Pulp Fiction.
cthulhu> It's Al Simmon's Neighborhood.
Q> hey look - popeye's chasing sweet pea up on one of the girders there
shred> When the lavendar-shirt wearing construction worker offers you a place to stay...run!
nicklby> is he wearing his wrestling trunks under those clothes?
bowleg3> just picture how much worse this would be with Hogan in the lead role
nicklby> wow, you can almost SEE him think
nicklby> Father Hardbody, he's here to kick ass for God!
shred> Well, we came within 3 feet of the plot there.
dungarees> The Lord is toying with you, that's a viewmaster!
THX-1138> Work that funky bass line.
Balthayzr> "Cops! Filmed on location!"
nicklby> yes, we have another John Carpenter soundtrack. the same riff repeated until someone screams for mercy
BryanL> Roddy Piper sees the injustice in the world, and stands there with his mouth open. Pretty much.
Balthayzr> Cardboard boxes! The Action Hero's Best friend!
cthulhu> This movie is popular amoung Perot voters.
Balthayzr> Piper! We're rolling, dammit!
Balthayzr> Plot? Yoo-hoo, Plot?
dungarees> Mmmm...work that flannel, baybeee
BryanL> Roddy Piper: Inaction Hero.
THX-1138> LA...cops...there's a gonna be a beating.
Balthayzr> Oops! Sorry, we thought this was the Bronx!
BryanL> I have to say, Roddy does a lot of walking around and brooding on this one.
BryanL> This is one of those nice quiet riots you can actually take grandma to.
bowleg3> Ah! Abe Vigoda is getting beaten!
THX-1138> That shirt is so Brawny man.
bowleg3> Remember back in the 90s when it was just like this?
dungarees> I'd pay big bucks to see Oscar the Grouch scare the bejeezus outtta him right now
THX-1138> Consume and watch TV...do we really need to brainwash people into doing those things.
Balthayzr> GAAH! Dick Clark's real face!
Ironf> OK He wears the glasses and is able to hear the thing now?
nicklby> you know, they never would've fooled Roy Orbisonpiper3.jpg - 7.44 K
Q> good going roddy - a basket of fruit half-nelsoned him
Balthayzr> Gee, whoda thunk Vince would sneak in a WWF commercial here?
cthulhu> Rowdy Piper re-enacts the touching carjacking scene from "Commando."
BryanL> Dammit, don't bump the plants, Piper! We don't have time to reshoot!
Will you be my sleazy manager? How are you at wearing sleazy outfits and hitting people with folding chairs?
BryanL> Please... just stop the mind-numbing pace for a second, Carpenter.
Merlynn> Her hair hurts my eyes.
Q> hunter orange and coral. maybe she got a phone call or something while she was doing her makeup this morning
Q> you're the only one who understands me, redneck shirt
bowleg3> Day 14. Still in blue flanel.
cthulhu> Hey, Joe Bob is wearing the same shirt as Piper....
bowleg3> oh good. I thought I wouldn't be able to hear that bass riff again.
nicklby> oh, I love trash/anything dirty or dingy or dusty/anything ragged or rotten or rusty/yes, I love trash!
THX-1138> Strangely enough, he smells better.
Balthayzr> Movie Rule #543 - Wrestlers in action movies must use wrestling moves as part of their hand-to-hand combat skills.
Ironf> "Captain Lou has taught you well."
nicklby> and it's 1-2-3 what are they fighting for?
Q> you see, when a has-been wrestler and a stubborn construction worker love each other very much...
dungarees> I saw him grope! I saw him grope his batch!piper4.jpg - 8.03 K
CitizenNancy> oh man i lost man appreite, put your sehirt back on
bowleg3> Imagine the level of shirt-stench
cthulhu> The earth is being invaded by aliens... It's a hudred miles to Chicago...It's dark... and we're wearing sunglasses.
BryanL> Roddy - "But what does this have to do with my hair?"
Jamie> What kind of Pledge Drive is this, people??!!
bowleg3> Here to help inspire us is funnyman Tony Robbins.
Balthayzr> Wow. Those Datalink Watches *do* everything!
KevinL> Shouldn't Austin Powers be driving through there any minute now.
Balthayzr> So, the watch is a Plot Point to Plot Point Teleporter, huh?
Balthayzr> Just think-at the same time, Hogan is making No Holds Barred!
Q> guys, is this movie gonna end soon? the lack of sleep is beginning to hurt
THX-1138> How can these people not detect the stench of Piper.
Swooop> Well come one...I'll show you the mud wrestling ring...
dungarees> He combs his hair in a pompador, like the rest of the Romeos wore.
throatleg> the declining years of Val Kilmerpiper7.jpg - 9.15 K
throatleg> Joe Isuzu's slighly more unpleasent brother
Servo> This guy randomly shows the two humans the entire alien plot
Balthayzr> No more good guys? What about Lex Lugar??
Swooop> Aww man...we're gonna miss the Fraggles!
Swooop> News at 11...stunt actor goes insane on the set of Murphy Brown.
throatleg> suburban commando?
BryanL> Man, those had "friend's cameos" written all over them.
Ironf> And we have an international object.
Jamie> So, this retroactively works on taped tv shows?
cthulhu> I learned that Sunglasses addiction is crippling.
Merlynn> I learned that trying to save the world will get you killed.
Jamie> I learned that BluBlockers are the secret weapon to combat the capitalist culture.
throatleg> I learned to use a beating, rather then words, to get friends to wear your magic sunglasses.
cthulhu> I learned that Reaganomics is evil....Although it does explain that income increased for the poorest fifth by 12%...

piper2.gif - 45.85 K "I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass, and I'm all out of bubble gum."
"Let me touch your face"
"Life's a bitch, and she's back in heat!"
"Weird stuff... some sort of epidemic of violence they been sayin"
"It's business. It's all this is. You don't get it, do you? There are no countries anymore!"
"It's like a drug. These glasses make you high. Oh, you come down hard."
"White line's in the middle of the road, that's the worst place to walk."
"What's the threat? We all sell out every day..."

piper5.jpg - 7.53 K
Balthayzr> "Gallager is Funny"
bowleg3> "You like to watch Full House"
Ironf> "John Tesh is cool."
Balthayzr> "Urkel is God"
nicklby> "Vote Republican"
Q> "pro wrestling *is* real"...
BryanL> "Seven of Nine wasn't really added for her gigantic chest"piper6.jpg - 8.49 K
bowleg3> "Pat Buchanan is your friend"
Merlynn> "Jim Carrey is funny."
KevinL> "Buy Generic. Save Money."
Balthayzr> "No one notices your comb-over"
nicklby> "Leave the Bronx"
nicklby> "Ross Perot makes sense"
Merlynn> "Joel Schumacher is a great director."

They made Ironf make this!