x61 THE WARRIORS (01/10/98)

Directed by: Walter "Alien³" Hill 
Written by: Sol Yurick
Music by: Barry "Exorcist III" DeVorzon 

"Waarrioooooors, come out and plaaaayyyyy." Never has a quote better described a movie. Cyrus, a Jesus-like figure to the gangs in NY, calls all the gangs to a giant meeting. At this meeting, he says he plans on joining all the gangs together so they might totally take over the Big, rotten, Apple. After he gives his little speech, he is shot by a Sean Penn wanna-be, who then blames the Warriors. Then the head of the Warriors is killed while the rest escape. So they try to make their way back down to Coney Island without getting killed. All of the other gangs are after them, not to mention the mysterious radio DJ that knows all and informs everyone through gang updates. They run into some interesting gangs, like the mime baseball players, the girl gang called the "Lizzies", and a Hee-Haw gang. Joy! They lose a couple more members as they take the train just so far before they are resigned to take to the streets again. In the end, they make it home, the new leader has a new girlfriend, and all the other gangs find out that the Warriors are really in the clear. Then the fey Sean Penn gets his ass kicked and probably killed. Oh, and Joe Bob taught us how to get from upper to lower New York.

BryanL> Subway. The way a gang movie should be.
Swish> For gangters they sure have quite a vocabulary
Balthayzr> Every one of these guys was tossed out of Fame school.....
ServoT> wait it's the BAD video
dungarees> Jacob's Funkadelic Ladder
bowleg> Apparently, the movie was funded by the NYC Transit authority.
Ironf> Maybe we will be able to look a little gayer.
BryanL> We've had, what, 10 lines of dialogue, and half of them are repeated?
valeyard7> This is why I take the bus
dungarees> This is where Will Smith ran down the first alien!
BryanL> I'm glad they decided to focus on the gang with bare chests.
dungarees> Gangstock...there's Joan Baez!
shred> Meanwhile, crowds gather as Madonna holds an open call for the father of her next child.
BryanL> Hey, it's Taylor Negron!
Q> two hundred! two hundred bad out-of-work actors! bwa- HAHAHAHA *lightning flashes*
shred> the purple guys aren't a gang. c'mon, they're like a doo-wop group or something.
BryanL> They're going to follow Taylor Negron and his Amazing Beaded Seat Cushion Raincoat?
Balthayzr> No permit, no port-a-potties. Only grief can come of this.
Ironf> Were those two members of P.A.G.O.N. in the background?
Balthayzr> Meanwhile, Vince McMahon and eric Bischoff are going thru the crowd, recruiting....
dungarees> It's Juan Epstein!
BillBear> He's Sho-Nuf, the Shogun of Harlem!
ServoT> so anyway, frogurt then?
Balthayzr> I see a lot of Post-Apocalyptic movies in this casts' future.....
Elroy-Lx> the plot: leave the bronx....
cthulhu> I want you to know, that I would follow you wonderful Son-of-a-Bitches in a rumble any time, any where.
Ironf> Be on the lookout for Carmen Sandiago.
BryanL> So, does that mean they have nowhere to run to, and nowhere to hide?
Balthayzr> So, the city is entirely populated by goofy gangs.
bowleg> Get japped? wha?
ACTION: bowleg gets japped
cthulhu> Oh I get it, they're the Village People.
BryanL> Man, Schumacher ripped this off for Batman and Robin.
ServoT> this was when all gangs carried action figure accesories like 2x4's and real rooted hair
Balthayzr> Daughter of the producer, everyone.
Baalzamon> why would they *want* to run NY city?
shred> Guiliani has a lot in common with a gang leader, actually.
shred> Finally! A sensibly dressed gang!
Balthayzr> The MaSteR DoesN't lIke BeiNg DiSsed!
bowleg> Richard Belzer and Tim Burton's love child
Q> she has the breasts of an overweight middle aged man
Jamie> so ratty t-shirts is the other gang's colors?
Jamie> I heard this War of Infinite Interracial Gangs storyline had permanenet effects on the DC Universe.
BryanL> They're going to need some Ultrashine 2000 for that car.
Balthayzr> Just smash a crate or garbage can. Always a good place to find guns in video games.....
Bice> Sunglass guy died during filming, so the just propped him up and worked his jaw for his lines.
Balthayzr> He's reading his lines off the phone booth wall!
THX-1138> When do they meet Al Roker on the subway?
BillBear> So why all the ultraviolet antibacterial lighting...ohhhh, right, New York
Ironf> What we need is superfuzz.
bowleg> John Carpenter, you've done it again.
SirDude> Do all gangs in NYC prance?
Balthayzr> Welcome to the Urban renisainnce faire! Huzzah!!
BillBear> The gang completely armed themselves just from one trip to Bat Day
Bice> So, the unarmed gang easily defeats the gang with baseball bats. Yeah, I buy that.
Jamie> The Warrior that fell on the tracks got special powers. He's now the Subway Warrior.
shred> 2am, Central Park....lone woman sitting on a bench.
Q> okay. a lone female in central park at night is passed by a gang wielding bseball bats and is NOT raped and mugged. i believe it. i also believe donkeys can fly and pro wrestling is real
BillBear> Look, I gotta take over a role for Christopher Lambert!
SirDude> No cops had guns on NYC back in 77?
THX-1138> I want the one with buises on her legs.
BillBear> Maybe they're a gang of vampires. That would perk the movie up a little
Bice> I bet the smell of dope is just overwhelming in that room.
Ironf> Poor young Chico, he has yet to become a man.
Balthayzr> No one will be seated during the exciting train sequence!
THX-1138> And the money train runs them over.
SirDude> Out of all the gangs, the girls are the only ones who even scratch'em.
Ironf> Roller Derby is gonna break out
BillBear> Use the urinal! Gain 10 health points!
Jamie> Why doesn't that one Warrior get off his bony ass and help his homeys?
Bice> So, was that dropped flower supposed to be a plot point?
Balthayzr> Who's playing with Ben-Wa balls?
Jamie> New York: The City That Never Sleeps, Except When Puss Gangs Get in a Shoving Match.
cthulhu> I learned that gangs are really a bunch of wussies.
Djenk1> I learned I am sooo lucky to have worked late tonight ;)
BillBear> I learned that you don't have to own a car to be a dangerous gang
dungarees> I learned that Jon Bon Jovi acts out and probably needs ritalin
bowjapped> I learned that warriors tend to come out and play when called by a total wuss.
cthulhu> I learned that gang members have no sense of direction.
shred> I learned "why can't we all just get along."
Bice> I learned that movies I didn't like 15 years ago when I saw them on Prism, I'm probably still not going to like 15 years later.
Qpid> i learned that l-trains are lacking in dramatic potential
Elroy-L> I learned that in the 70s , ANYONE could be in the movies
Balthayzr> I learned that a good motif does not a good gang make.
cthulhu> I learned that Major League players had to resort to gang warfare during the baseball strike.

Balthayzr> A gang based on WWII movie stereotypes.
Ironf> Puttin' on the ritz gang
dungarees> the nipple dumpling gang
Balthayzr> The Greg Brady Shirt Gang!!
Swish> The notorious purple beret gang
Ironf> NAM!!!!!!! gang
Swish> The notorious bell bottom gang
Ironf> Cherokee Jack gang
dungarees> The drab grey gang....
THX-1138> Free Tibet Gang
Ironf> plain gang
THX-1138> Frank Stallone gang
Ironf> the saran wrap gang
Elroy-Lx> nylon head gang
THX-1138> Fame Dancer gang
Elroy-Lx> the pimp gang...
Ironf> The swan gang
Elroy-Lx> bumble bee gang
ServoT> the osh-kosh-ba-gang
cthulhu> It's The Partridge Gang?
Elroy-Lx> bald gang
dungarees> It's the Marcellus Wallace gang: The Early Years
BillBear> Sailor gangs.
ServoT> Calven Klein gang
Swish> The Greyhound gang
THX-1138> Gay biker gang
Balthayzr> It's the old-ladies-going-to-Atlantic-City gang!!!
THX-1138> The Shaggy Gang
bowleg> the Levi's Loosefitting Gang
Balthayzr> The Lazy-Eye Gang.
Elroy-Lx> the cop gang!
Balthayzr> It's the Tammy Faye Bakker Gang!!
SirDude> The cross-dresser gang!
bowleg> the super mario gang!
Balthayzr> The Dennis-The-Menace gang!!
ServoT> Cabage-patch gang
Ironf> Hillbilly gang
dungarees> It's the Deliverance Gang!
bowleg> the Coked Up Losers gang!

"Maybe we'll be able to waste a few heads along the way" WHAT?
"Hey quiet!
"Can you count, suckas!?!?!?"
"Can you dig it"
"Boy, boy, crazy boy...stay loose boy."
"If it aint, we're going to have to bop our way back..."
"those lousy skinheaded wimps!"
"Aw, look at all those muscles. I bet the chicks like all those muscles"
"I like it rough."
"We know about the warriors. they're a heavy outfit."
"The chicks are packed! The chicks are packed!"
"I bet he went out swinging"
"Cops got Ajax."
"wait a minute! I can't go in there! That's a men's room!"
"I'm sorry I almost got you killed!"

Ironf had to join a gang to get this web page done.