Who is Mark A. Siefert

Who are you?

Well, according to my driver’s license, my name is Mark Andrew Siefert.  However, Wisconsin’s Department of Motor Vehicles is notoriously mismanaged.  I may be Peter Parker for all I know.

What are you?

For starters, I’m a 29-year-old Sagittarius (not that I believe in astrology, or any other pseudo-scientific nonsense) with blonde hair and hazel eyes. My turn-ons are sunsets, chocolate-chip cookie dough Blizzards, gun shows, and gaming conventions. My Turn-offs are fundamentalist Christians, Democrats/Republicans, Michael Moore movies, people who think they’ve been abducted by aliens that look like sort of like James Carville and have an odd interest in proctology, and people who pay too much for their auto-insurance.

I am also a graduate of the University of Wisconsin–Milwaukee. I hold a B.A. in Mass Communications and Journalism with a sub-major in Print Journalism. I am also a devoted libertarian, and I believe that government is mankind’s second greatest mistake (the first being a toss-up between Zima and Cop Rock).  My personal interests include writing, reading, miniature wargaming, computers, shooting sports, and science fiction. 

Where are you?

I currently reside in Muskego, a small city in the mediocre state of Wisconsin just outside of Milwaukee.

Muskego is one of those tiny Mid-Western towns that exist on the borderline of growing suburb and agricultural cow town.  Muskego is a place where yuppie children play ball in front of their parent’s condo while Lars Torgelson spreads manure on his soybean field next door.  Despite the recent influx of young urban professionals, Muskego is still hicks-ville.  The primary sources of entertainment in Muskego are tractor pulls, line dances, and dining at the cosmopolitan splendor that is Burger King.

By the way… I HATE THE PACKERS!  This is a capital offense in Wisconsin, and there is a hefty price on my head.  I am seeking political asylum in either Illinois or Minnesota. Don’t take it too personally though. I despise professional sports in general.

I live in the Siefert family’s ancestral home with my authoritarian father, two easily excitable dogs, and a psychotic cat.  It’s pathetic, but it sure beats paying the rent that my $10.50 an hour job can’t generate.

What do you want?

Never ask that question!

Actually, there are quite a few things that I want. None of them are any of your business, but I can say they involve 3 female Swedish calligraphy artists, a hot tub full of warm club soda, and a picture of Nostredamus.

You figure it out…

Why should I care?

I don’t know!  You’re the one who’s asking these damn questions!

Back to my home page.