Our Enlightened Times (4/30/98)
As we approach the dawn of a new millenia, it's good to know that our society and technology are advancing in just the ways predicted by optimistic, utopian science fiction like Star Trek.Why, just this morning, as I was traveling to work by a combination of personal helicopter, monorail, and sliding sidewalk, I munched on a couple of food pills and had the news downloaded directly into the neural shunt surgically implanted into the back of my neck.
After intelligent agents sifted through the newsfeed, eliminating any useless, uninteresting articles, I learned that a South Carolina high school canceled an Indigo Girls concert after scores of parental complaint. Seems these forward-thinking individuals, who would never ever think of reinforcing the stereotype of Southerners as inbred, jingoistic, reactionary morons, were upset after learning that the two Indigo Girls in question were lesbians.
Moving on to the next infobyte neural newsfeed, I also learned that test audiences are reacting very negatively to the new Denzel Washington/Spike Lee movie, "He Got Game". Surprisingly, the negative reaction isn't due to Lee's choice to film the picture in retro-styled, two-dimensional color film photography, as opposed to the full-sensory 3-D "feelies" we've all grown used to. Instead, the audiences are upset because Mr. Washington kisses a white woman, specifically, Milla Jovovovovovovovovovovich.
We're living in the future, folks. Enjoy it, 'cause in three weeks it'll be nostalgia.
