6/9/99
“I guess it won’t surprise anybody that because AT&T has put my life at risk to this harassment organization, I will be switching both Internet service providers and my long-distance service from AT&T to MCI.”<BR> – Scientology critic “Safe”, focusing on what’s important after AT&T gave his name to Elron’s lawyers.
5/27/99
“We’ll take the Bride into the near future, maybe 10 years from now, which lets us postulate our culture.”
– Hollywood producer Brian Grazer on his new project, “The Bride of Frankenstein”, recently given new life, as it were, by the success of “The Mummy”.
5/20/99
“Everybody is not gonna like our music, or us.”
– Backstreet Boys member and apparent spokesman Kevin Richardson, who needs to learn that word order is his friend, not his enemy. 5/11/99
“The game’s action-packed storyline challenges players to master the art of fighting as they attack, block, and counterattack menacing enemies…”
– Videogames.com, providing important information on the Wu-Tang fighting game.
4/5/99
“Creatively speaking, I could not think of a more perfect marraige than that of Baywatch with Hawaii.”
– Baywatch co-executive-producer Greg Bonann, after a hot beef injection of Hawaii citizens’ tax dollars ensured that David Hasslehoff’s silicone empire would take up residence in the island state.
4/2/99
“As they say in television, ‘stay tuned!'”
– CBS Corp. President and CEO, Mel Karmazin, speaking at a press conference announcing that one TV company, CBS, was buying another TV company, King World Productions. Apparently, ol’ Mel felt his target audience would be unaware of the derivation of the phrase, “stay tuned”.
(3/25/99)
“I’m truly not worried about the other film [Mystery Men, in which Paul Reubens portrays a farting superhero] because this is more than a farting gimmick, it’s a good script with a story of unrequited love, like ‘Casablanca.'”
– J. F. Lawton, screenwriter, regarding his soon-to-be-revived script for Howard Stern’s “The Adventures of Fartman”
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